Late-Teenage Crisis

They say that people go through a mid-life crisis, something that makes somebody question their purpose in life, their existence, their place.

Well, my "mid-freshman year crisis" or "late-teenage crisis" is upon me.

Why did I give up my dream of going to CSU to stay in Washington? It's not like I am unhappy here, I just question whether or not I made the right decision by giving into the norm of going to an in-state university. Part of me wishes I had a completely fresh start at the beginning of my college experience, while another part of me is gracious for having long-time friends that are here to experience freshman year right along with me. But what do I really want? What is going to ultimately make me happiest?

As of now, I don't even know what I want to major in let alone what I want to do with my life. I've put on this face like "I know what the hell I want and I'm going to get it" but I honestly have NO idea. Should I major in Communications because it's general and I enjoyed in in high school? Or should I keep searching to discover a more specialized major that I never knew I enjoyed.

I would love to drop everything at this moment and just go travel. Obviously this would be a horrible decision, and one I will not allow myself to make until I have graduated college. But I cannot wait to take a backpack to Europe and finally LIVE my life for two or three months.

Two people will understand this completely, so thank you in advance.

Peace.

if you would like to cry non-stop for two hours...

...watch My Sister's Keeper.

I loved it, although I sat on my couch drying my eyes for nearly the entire movie (in spurts of course).

This review, from The Hollywood Reporter sums up one view of the movie. I would recommend watching the entire movie - and not reading the rest of this review on the internet...I only included the portion that includes no *SPOILER ALERTS!*

"If you're going to make a weepy, there's no reason you can't make it with intelligence and insight as the makers of "My Sister's Keeper" have done. The audience manipulation -- if one wants to call it that -- comes from your understanding of these people and how this particular family operates in an atmosphere of love and mutual concern. The tragedy that forces its way into their midst is fought with tenacity, and the conflicts within the family are portrayed in such a manner that no one is a bad guy.

A film about a child with leukemia understandably has a small theatrical audience. Indeed, Jodi Picoult's novel, on which Jeremy Leven and director Nick Cassavetes' screenplay is based, might seem more at home on television, where illness, doctors and hospitals somehow feel less alarming. But "My Sister's Keeper" does benefit from a sagacious big-screen treatment: It allows for nuances and takes time to focus this story of an illness on all the people it affects."

DAMN, just thinking about it makes me wanna shed another tear. But, seriously, it's good. And it's beautiful too.

THANK GOD

Thank God you're alright.
Thank God for the guardrail.
And thank God I got a hug before I left today.

I don't know what I would've done.
I'm just glad everything is okay and you're safe.

I've been reminiscing a little bit too much for my liking lately. Thinking about you & me, missing the way things were.

And maybe I just think too much.

you make my dreams come true

I know what I need to do - and that is stop thinking. I hate thinking so much - despite the fact that I'm prone to it. Or maybe that is why I hate it so much.
I hate seeing failed relationships - but I also hate the types of relationships I've had lately. I need a happy medium, and I think I'm finally ready to find it...

Blarghhh.