It's a beautiful day!

Had a bit of PhotoShop fun today on a picture I took this afternoon out my dorm window. Just messed around with the colors (obviously)! Even with all the scratches/dust on the glass window I like the "antiqued" look it has.
Regardless, today is beautiful on campus. A steamy 55 degrees is all we need for frisbee teams to take up practicing in the quad - and even the slack-lining has started up! There's even a kid giving FREE HUGS and it's pretty amazing to watch!
Besides the pretty weather, I got a package from Chanel today. Contents: note, Avett Brothers cds, Dexter Season 4 dvds, "Beer! The Outrageously Fun Drinking Game" cards, Starbucks (red) card and tons of love. Made my day a thousand times better :)
Seriously, it's funny how a little thing like opening a package can take me to an ultimate high of happiness! I love it.

Death

I'm not going to bull shit my way around this one, because being blunt about this is important: people of my generation take life for granted. I take my own life for granted. I wake up some mornings pissed off because I have an early class; I go to sleep upset because I didn't get the phone call or text message that I wanted; I walk through campus with my head down, dragging my feet because I'm tired; I sit through some lectures perusing facebook because I just don't want to pay attention. And it's horrible. It's time for a change...I need to fully appreciate what I have.

For my Sociology of Murder class we're reading a book called The Riverman by Robert Keppel. It's extremely interesting (if you're into this sort of stuff) but it's gruesome and terrifying. Keppel details the murder victims of Ted Bundy, then changes the story to Gary Ridgway and the Green River murders. This guy CONFESSED to 48 murders...which is besides the point, yet still disgusting. But it makes me think - why am I not living my life to the fullest every single moment I can?

I'm not expecting to die or be murdered anytime soon, but why do I sit around and complain or wish I had things better when my entire life is laying in front of me? On certain mornings, I wake up to this view out of my floor to ceiling windows. And I appreciate it, sure, but I should be in awe of it. Taking in every moment. I should be thanking my amazing family - every single day - because honestly, I wouldn't be where I am today without their support. Some people don't have a family to call their own. Some kids I know don't speak with one of their parents, and some have lost their parents in war or to sicknesses. Sometimes I want to kick myself for being so selfish.

Honestly, I just want to start appreciating life and all that is in store for me. In an ideal world, every moment of my life will be like this.

Joyous and full of love.

This is just me, being real and utterly disappointed in myself and the people of my age. We need to stop taking our lives for granted - because really, what are we doing worrying about what we're losing when we have everything to gain?

Life:

Bahahaha I don't know exactly why this cracks me up so much, but it does. Chanel sent this to me last week (it's a poster btw) and it's kind of been a running joke since the summer. Apparently she had it in her room when she was in college - and so it obviously deserves a spot in mine :] I don't think the roommates appreciate it as much as I do...but there's a reason it's on my portion of the wall. I miss you tons, Chanel!

As for life...this weekend was interesting. Mom came up on Friday and surprised me/took me to lunch! Got to see IZZY :] She's so damn cute. It was good to take a break from "college-life" for a minute and just chill with my mom, too!


I woke up on Saturday not feeling the best - but knew I had to fight through it and go to the basketball game with Kelsey...we smashed on the Cougs 92-63 which definitely made it seem worth it! :] Sadly it drained me completely of my energy and sent me into a downward spiral of feeling sick. I ran a fever Saturday night, all day Sunday and then woke up today feeling a lot better. I'm obviously not 100% yet, because I went to do laundry and it basically put me into a coma. I'm exhausted again. Aghh!

But, in other news - school's been going really well. I've been ridiculously happy these past few weeks! I think a lot of it has to do with me going out there and meeting tons of new people. I've been definitely needing to do that! It's been very good for me :] Rachel's been the best and it's good to have another girl to trust around here. I miss my girls at WSU!

As of now, I'm procrastinating (a lot!) on writing my paper due Wednesday. I know I have until Wednesday - and that's probably part of the problem. I just really need to get going so I don't have to stress about it later. So I should probably stop blogging and start writing academically!

So that's all for now, peace!

Blast from the past, est. 07 :)

I've had this song, "Far Far" by Yael Naim, stuck in my head all day:

Far far, there's this little girl
She was praying for something to happen to her
Everyday she writes words and more words
Just to speak out the thoughts that keep floating inside
And she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
Take her, cover her, they are all over
The reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
Oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
She was praying for something good to happen to her
From time to time there're colors and shapes
Dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
They invent her a new world with
Oil skies and aquarel rivers
But don't you run away already
Please don't go oh oh

How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
How an you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
Take a deep breath and dive
There's a beautiful mess inside
How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess
Beautiful mess inside

Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
She was praying for something big to happen to her
Every night she ears beautiful strange music
It's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
But if it fades she begs
"Oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it yourselves"

I guess i'll have to give it birth
To give it birth
I guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
I guess i have to, have to give it birth
There's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere

So shake it yourself now deep inside
Deeper than you ever dared
Deeper than you ever dared
There's a beautiful mess inside
Beautiful mess inside

I wish...

My mind is constantly spinning, I can't stop thinking, but I can't seem to put the words into any context. I know the emotions and the feelings and the words are there inside of me...they're just not ready to be spit out of my fingers and into cyberspace yet. It's like writers block, but I already know what I want to write. I'm just not ready to and I really wish I was.

It's a mix of hope, fear and the unknown...and I think it's going to stay inside for a bit longer.