So much for that!!!!

So, I wasn't going to blog because I didn't feel like I had stuff to blog about...but lo and behold, it's been less than a day and I'm back at it. First of all, this song is amazing. It used to be on Ryan Monroe's myspace, but they finally put it on Infinite Arms. Thank god!



So, I never remember my dreams and it was a miracle that I remembered this one....in my dream I woke up and looked at my alarm clock and it said "2:42" but it was really sunny and bright outside so I freaked out thinking that it was 2:42pm. The one thing I thought of in my dream was that I missed brunch at the 8 which closes at 2pm. How depressing is that?!? I dreamed about sleeping in super late and the only thing I was concerned about was food. hahaha. When I woke up at 11am I was quite pleased that I still had time to go ;] I had to laugh.

Also, today was gorgeous outside. It looked like it was going to be about 70 degrees outside, and judging by the temperature of my room I wouldn't have been surprised. It was a bit colder than that (probably about 50) but it was still sunny and nice. I got a ton of econ homework done this morning after breakfast, then went downtown to meet Brian for coffee in between his shows. I got to rock my new sunglasses and wear a cute springy outfit which was exciting! :] The sale racks at Urban were absolutely amazingggg, so naturally I spent the money I wasn't planning on spending. Go me! But, I got some good stuff! :]

I don't really know what to think about the conversations of the past few days with a certain person, but I'm just going to see what happens I suppose. It's good to be getting on the right track again, so I'm excited for that sole reason. It makes my head hurt to think about it too much and Brian was just like "Megan! You need to stop frickin over-analyzing everything like I do and just do what you want!" Which is very true. Unfortunately I don't know what I want. So, I guess we'll just see how things go. As for now, what the hell ever!

Blogger, I'm glad we only took a momentary hiatus. I'm baaacccckkkk :]

Meh

I have zero motivation to write on here anymore. Which is really sad, because it's always been my release. I just feel like my life has become so static that there's not a lot to write.

When I get some inspiration I will return to my habitual blogging, like before :]

A moment to breathe

Feels like I haven't written in AGES. Probably because I haven't. My schedule is killer this quarter, I basically have class from 8:30-12:00 every day, I work from 1:00-5:00 then I hit the gym til around 7:30 or 8:00. The rest of my evening is spent doing reading or homework until I can't stay awake anymore...then I just pass out, and do it again! I'm not complaining, though, especially because it's been keeping me on top of school a lot more than I was during Fall or Winter quarter. It's just sad that I barely get to see people or have a moment to myself to just sit and do nothing. I love and cherish those moments so very much.
Last night I finally felt like I was back to Winter quarter, just hanging out with everybody and it was great! Nick, Collin and I drove and met Rachel and Kelsey at Red Robin and had dinner - then we just hung out in Rach and Kels's room for the rest of the night. We played a college-version of Mario Kart ;) watched movies and made 4 bags of popcorn. No joke, it was ridiculous! I got to sleep in this morning for the first time since spring break which was absolutely amazing! Never thought I'd be so excited about something so simple...but it was great!
I've been doing homework since I got back to my room, and I'm headed to the gym shortly to run & sauna. Mmm, sounds so good right now!
I'm so unbelievably excited for tomorrow! Kristen and I are going downtown at 4:30 to meet Brian for dinner before we see On The Town (the show he is in at the 5th Ave Theater)! Kristen and I have 2nd row seats, which will be insaneeeee. Plus, Brian's taking us backstage afterward....woohoo!!!
Also, my mom bought tickets to Jack Johnson at the Gorge in October, which seems so far away, but I don't care. I'm stoked. I'm also taking Rachel to her first concert ever (*jaw drop* I KNOW!!) in a few weeks. Lupe Fiasco & B.o.B at the Showbox...should be a good one! :]
Honestly, nothing too new has been going on. Being so busy I feel like I'm living a routine and I don't really diverge from it too often.
Having just a moment to myself, figured I should blog a little bit. Hope all is well <3

Off my chest

I feel like everybody has a few things about them that they spend a lot of time questioning, “Why am I like this? Why do I think this way?” A lot of people think that these things are bad qualities, but I’ve recently begun to understand and accept these portions of myself…and it’s relieving. I have become less “ashamed” (not like I was ever REALLY ashamed of them, more confused by them) and they’re things that I feel like sharing.

There are very few people in the world I feel like I can truly trust and count on. I’m not trying to be a pessimist when I say this, it’s just very true for me. Ever since I was little, I’ve had few girl friends, a lot of guy friends and (since high school) intermittent boyfriends. My “circle of trust” through all of these ages has been small – 4 or 5 people at a maximum that I really share things with. For everybody else, especially boys I may have been interested in, I build a giant brick wall. It’s almost like I don’t want people to find out the true me until I’m sure they’re gonna stick around for awhile. Unfortunately I’m bad at determining this last little tidbit of information, oops! hahah! Time after time I feel like I’m at a good point in a relationship to divulge more information about myself to people and I always feel great about it. It’s not like I have a huge secret I keep from everybody, I just am not going to talk about things I consider to be serious with people I don’t trust. But, time after time I regret my decision to break down my walls and let somebody in because I get hurt. I know that it is a fact of life to be occasionally let down or hurt by people you trust, but I’m fed up with it. I would like to be able to fully trust somebody, be fully accepted by somebody, without being hurt in the end. Each time this happens, it’s upsetting of course, but my walls get higher. It takes more effort to feel confident in somebody, and my trust issues get larger. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is.

Along with this, I’m also a very reliant person. I tend to put a lot of weight on what people tell me or let me tell them. It’s not that I’m not independent because, trust me, I love my space and feeling like my own person, it’s more that I enjoy having somebody that I can count on to make me feel better if I’m having a rough day. I like having a person (or multiple people) that I know can cheer me up, send me to bed with a smile on my face and just be there throughout the day to converse with. I guess that reliant may be a strong word, but the companionship I feel with some of my friends is what I really love. Reliance, unfortunately, tends to set me up for disappointment. Granted I have friends that I’ve maintained since kindergarten and first grade, the short term reliance on relationships, boys, etc. tends to be a problem for my emotional well-being. Having said this, I’m thankful to realize these things about myself and accept them for something that makes me, well, me! Knowing that I am this way, it’s easier to go into more recent relationships and friendships because I can control my emotions and actions to better myself in the long run. Self-improvement for the win!

On a side note, I’m currently driving home from Manson, WA and I always forget how much I love it there…I went for a nice, long run yesterday afternoon and it’s so much prettier to run through the country than it is to run through the city. Much more peaceful. I can’t wait to spend some good time over there during the summer with the pool, lake, orchard and SUNSHINE :] Summer, I’m counting down the days…

Holy #%&!@*&$

MUSE IS THE MOST AMAZING LIVE BAND EVER.

I've never been more blown away at a live performance - it was incredible.


Matthew Bellamy - MARRY ME PLEASE :]