Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tendencies & normalcy

It's crazy what one year can do to you. What seemed normal and comfortable for me for 18 years of my life was this:

  • living in Puyallup
  • having rules
  • knowing the streets backward & forward and being able to notice minute changes in signage, traffic signals, etc.
  • working out at the good ol' Mel Korum Y every day
  • realizing that on a Friday, Saturday or Sunday night your best bet of hanging out with people was either going to a movie, bowling at Daffodil, hanging out at Big Foot or getting out of Puyallup and going somewhere else
And now after only one year of living away from home and in Seattle at UW all of this (what felt so normal for so long) feels unbelievably wrong. I am literally counting down the days until I can move back to what feels like home now. The Seattle lights, the constant bustle of a college campus nestled in the city, the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want to, the knowledge that there is always somebody there to talk to, and the parties are calling my name...I miss everything about the university lifestyle. Only 19 days til I get to go home :) I don't plan on spending another summer in Puyallup - I will do anything to avoid it to be perfectly honest.

I wanted to write about something else - tendencies - hence the title of this blog. But I can't seem to find the right words to express my disappointment in myself at the moment. And I don't feel like I could poetically state what's going on in my brain. So I'll leave it at this...habits are shitty and I wish I could get out of my rut.

The End.

Friday, August 13, 2010


I'm a giver.

I give 100% to everything I do, and to the people that matter most to me.
I put all of myself into whatever I'm doing at the moment and I put all of myself into building and sustaining relationships.

Sometimes this blows up right in front of me, bringing me down with it momentarily. And whenever I'm down I always find myself thinking that it is my fault. "If I focused more on myself, maybe this wouldn't happen."

But here's the truth: I would rather give 110% and fall on my face, than not try hard enough and wish I had.