Thursday, October 7, 2010


I've started attempted to start this post about ten times in the past twelve hours...and I think I've decided that my problem is the fact my mind is in about a million different places at the moment. Part of me feels selfish for worrying about the "little things" but right now, to me, these things are consuming.

Friendship is always something that has run parallel to disappointment for me. I hate to be negative about something that can be such a joyous and beautiful thing - but for whatever reasons I have had a tough time discovering (or keeping) friends over the years. I've lost good friends & great friends through petty arguments, stupid "girl drama" and for reasons unknown to me. That being said, however, the people I consider to be my true friends are INCREDIBLE. I cannot emphasize enough how lucky I am to be surrounded by them...and I would give absolutely anything for them. I've mentioned in previous blogs that I put 100% into relationships - friendship included. I don't half-ass care about my friends, I love with everything in me. 
From disappointment, however, I've begun to build walls. Strong fortresses to surround my heart. I'm careful with whom I disclose information important to me, and opening up on deep emotional levels does not come easy anymore. 
I've met very few people in recent years that I can sit down and have a real conversation with - one where I am completely unafraid of their reactions. I'm talking about somebody that I can spill my guts to, say exactly what I'm thinking at any moment (and have them legitimately understand), call them blacked out & crying and know that the next time we talk or see each other everything will be okay. Over the past few months, every single brick from my wall came down...and surprisingly it was easy. I don't think I've ever had a friendship feel so comfortable, especially so early-on. 
Yet, here I am. I'm disappointed; I'm frustrated; I'm sad; I feel wasted. 
I really do not know what I would have done without you, so thank you for being there when I needed it most - but I still need want you around now. With the heartbreaking news of Carly Henley last night, I can't help but realize how much true friendship does mean, and yours means a lot. Obviously more than you realize, 'cause I'm kinda missing my best friend right now.
I'll close with this, because I don't really know what else to say that would do much good: We're alive, we're living, and we shouldn't be taking any moments for granted. 


My heart goes out to the families and friends of both Carly Henley (UW) and Dwight Clark (WWU). It has been a difficult day for colleges in Washington State today. As we mourn the loss of these two individuals, may we all become more grateful of those around us and aware of our own blessings. Don't take life for granted <3

Friday, October 1, 2010

Standing Right In Front Of You - Keith Urban

Out on the street corner
Just like every morning I sit here
And I watch you walk my way
And even though I don’t know you
As you get closer I swear I feel
My heart start racing, aching
Maybe it’s in my mind
And maybe I’m only dreaming
And I swear you catch my eye
As you walk on by
Oh why you gotta leave me so blue

Baby why can’t you see
That I’m the only one for you
You could search the world over
But you’ll never find another so true
Cause if you’re looking for love
I’m standing right in front of you

I bet your heart, like mine
Has been broken by someone
We never should have given it to (oh no)
So we put up a wall to keep from falling so hard
It’s so sad
Cause there’s such good love inside
And I’ve been hoping that I might find
Someone who feels the same way
Someone to share my life
On this beautiful ride together
We could see it all through

Baby why can’t you see
That I’m the only one for you
You could search the world over
But you’ll never find another so true
Cause if you’re looking for love
I’m standing right in front of you

So this morning I’m just going to walk up and say hello to you
Cause if given a choice between love and being alone
I know which one
I know which one I choose
And give me a chance
I’d be a better man for you (I believe I would)
And open your heart girl
Let me make your dreams come true

You can search the world over
But I can take it to the moon
Cause if you’re looking for love
I’m standing right in front of you (yes I am)
Standing right in front of you
Open your eyes, I’m standing right in front of you
Just give me a chance baby
I'm standing right in front of you