Saturday, January 30, 2010

Blast from the past, est. 07 :)

I've had this song, "Far Far" by Yael Naim, stuck in my head all day:

Far far, there's this little girl
She was praying for something to happen to her
Everyday she writes words and more words
Just to speak out the thoughts that keep floating inside
And she's strong when the dreams come cos' they
Take her, cover her, they are all over
The reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
Oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
She was praying for something good to happen to her
From time to time there're colors and shapes
Dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
They invent her a new world with
Oil skies and aquarel rivers
But don't you run away already
Please don't go oh oh

How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
How an you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess inside
Take a deep breath and dive
There's a beautiful mess inside
How can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess
Beautiful mess inside

Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
She was praying for something big to happen to her
Every night she ears beautiful strange music
It's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
But if it fades she begs
"Oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it yourselves"

I guess i'll have to give it birth
To give it birth
I guess, i guess, i guess i have to give it birth
I guess i have to, have to give it birth
There's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere

So shake it yourself now deep inside
Deeper than you ever dared
Deeper than you ever dared
There's a beautiful mess inside
Beautiful mess inside

Thursday, January 28, 2010

I wish...

My mind is constantly spinning, I can't stop thinking, but I can't seem to put the words into any context. I know the emotions and the feelings and the words are there inside of me...they're just not ready to be spit out of my fingers and into cyberspace yet. It's like writers block, but I already know what I want to write. I'm just not ready to and I really wish I was.

It's a mix of hope, fear and the unknown...and I think it's going to stay inside for a bit longer.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Loving life right now! Finally figuring out what I'm going to do next year for school - at least for my living situation :]
Two nights ago proved to me that I am done dealing with shit from other people. I know I deserve better, and I should just stop putting myself in situations that make me so damn frustrated. But, it was an overall great birthday (minus the 10 minutes of frustration).
BUT, last night was awesome and super chill. Just hung out with Rachel & Kelsey in their room with some of the guys from their floor. It was fun, got to meet like ten new people (always good). Watched FAR TOO MUCH YouTube and then a movie.
Today was a short day, finished my essay last night so I don't have to do it today :] Wooo! Now I'm just relaxing and trying to get ahead in reading! God knows I need to...that damn murder text book is soooo boring.

I don't really have much to update on...besides I'm for sure making a trip to "that other school" in Pullman at some point in February. Kelsey wants to visit Leander and Rachel wants to go too. It will be a road trip to see my best friends with some of my favorite UW girls! :]

Friday, January 22, 2010

(365) days of megan

After 365 days of being eighteen, I've come to terms with the fact it's not THAT amazing of an age. But, let's recap the year, in chronological order:
-Turned 18, woke up to flowers on the porch, had school, bought a lotto ticket and swishers (rebellious, I know), worked (why didn't I request it off?) and went and saw Slumdog Millionaire. Why do I remember that day like it was yesterday?!?
-Became addicted to yoga and the sauna at the YMCA
-Committed to attending the University of Washington
-Became the "office bitch" at Stortini's...thank God they still appreciate me :)
-Had multiple breakdowns in the back office of JagWire...not gonna lie, I'm glad that part of my life is done
-Worked my ass off on the track and competed (as an individual, finally!) at the state meet
-Became single, and happy!
-Went to Senior Ball with my best friend
-Graduated in the Top 10 from Emerald Ridge High School
-Reconciled relationships with old friends that are now best friends
-Got a puppy, Izzy. The love of my life, hehe <3
-Had the best week of my life house sitting for the Mehrer family
-Spent hours upon hours at/on Lake Tapps & Hot Chick with Dallas and Chanel
-Discovered Sushi Town, thanks to Cody Rain-nice, and Trapper/Mt.Rainier
-Had a night I'll never forget
-Went on multiple adventures with Chanel
-Got hooked on Dexter and True Blood
-Said goodbye to three of my best friends as they went off to Pullman and California
-Doubted my choice of attending UW
-Beat USC football, and no longer doubted my decision
-Moved to Seattle
-Best friend Chanel moved to Montana :(
-Reconnected with a junior high friend, who's now my best friend
-Partied too hard the night before Halloween, went home to pass out candy for actual Halloween
-Made a few poor decisions
-Had my first Thanksgiving at home without the entire extended family
-Fell in love with Husky Basketball...seriously, one of my favorite things ever!!
-Finished my first quarter of college with a 3.83 GPA :)
-Saw White Christmas the musical and loved it
-Acted like a child and went trampoline-ing
-Didn't have an actual White Christmas
-Had a strange New Years Eve, but spent it with the best friend and in the most relaxing sort of way + champagne
-Came back to school, started new classes
-Started a new workout regiment that I'm going to stick to :)
-Parents came up for an early birthday dinner at The Melting freakin' delicious!!

Wow, what a year...and all in bullet points :] It's kind of fun to look back, but I'm all about looking forward lately :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

No exceptions

The workout plan begins tomorrow. No doubt about it. I've been doing horrible since I've been back from winter break...and Rachel and I are getting down to it - starting up our running workouts tomorrow! Super excited because I've been looking for a running buddy for the longest time now! :] Yippeeeeee!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Ten things you should know (in honor of my 101st post!)

1. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but I’ve recently discovered I have no idea what I’m doing.

2. When I have money and am older, I will buy a house in Kauai and spend my vacations there. It’s the most beautiful place with the best laid-back mentality. I would be surrounded by beauty and serenity – heaven!

3. I love music with everything in me. I love making music, listening to music, discovering music, reading about music, etc. It’s one of my only passions that has truly stuck with me through everything.

4. I have almost no patience for watching shows on actual TV and most of the time I just watch them when they come out for the season on DVD because you don’t have to wait a week in between episodes or deal with commercials.

5. It is my absolute dream to go to Europe after I graduate with nothing but a backpack, a train ticket and some money. I think it would be an amazing way to see the world, experience culture and really live my life.

6. A lot of the times I wish texting and Facebook didn’t exist so then you’d really know who cared and who didn’t. Snail-mail, telephones and even emails are so much more personal and thought-out than a text message or a comment on a status.

7. I’d rather read a book than watch a movie (especially movies made after books) because books allow you a bit of creativity opposed to movies that put everything right there for you to see. You get to picture things yourself if you’re reading and in essence you make the story more personal. But this is not to say that I don’t appreciate a good movie…for instance, Avatar blew my mind.

8. Inflicting pain on my body is somewhat addicting (and I mean this in the least harmful-to-myself way). Piercings are addicting to me and I’m getting a tattoo soon. Plus, that feeling you get after you workout – like you want to collapse and puke at the same time – is like a high for me. I like pushing myself in all aspects of my life.

9. I want to skydive. In my opinion, jumping out of a plane is far less terrifying than bungee jumping. I want to really feel like I’m flying.

10. I wish I were more independent, but I rely a lot on the people who are close to me. I think this part of me is why I’ve always wanted to try to live a more simplistic lifestyle. Sometimes this reliance poses a problem, but most of the time it’s really nice to have people I can count on.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I have recently discovered:

1. The best website ever, HypeMachine.

2. One of my favorite record labels, Team Love. Another great source for music.

3. How much I am in love with Husky Basketball, and being the sixth starter in the Dawg Pack!

4. That the universe is extremely large. I mean, I guess I knew this...sort of. But the enormity of it is more than I could have fathomed without taking Astronomy.

5. I miss my best friends Chanel Mehrer, Lauren Barron and Dallas Welker more than they could ever know.

6. Nik Freitas, ZaZa, Tilly & The Wall, Surfer Blood and Devendra Banhart are amazing musicians and I recommend you check them out as soon as possible.

That's all for now, peace & love!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Welcome to Romarville!

I love this shit. Husky Hoops 2010! I could be here every night... <3

Monday, January 11, 2010

What's the point...?

Let me preface this blog with a quick little statement:
I am content being single, and it has taken me a long time to realize this. But, I am finally at terms with the fact that I don't need a guy to make me happy (for the next week or so, atleast..hahaha)! This is a big deal for any girl, I believe. So, while reading this, don't take it the wrong way and think that I'm putting down anybody - because that is really not my intention!

Relationships. What's the point? It's like every time I finally think "Hmm, I want that!" everything crumbles around me. The relationships I look up to and admire go to the dogs and people end up cursing the mere thought of a relationship. My friends get into relationships, or have sustained relationships, that ruin their friendships and connections with other people. What's the appeal of that? Maybe I'm a cynic because all of my past relationships have failed (epically) but I don't see the point of investing a ton of time into something that eventually will make me extremely unhappy. I see people investing their lives (time, energy, mood, effort, etc.) into a person that doesn't reciprocate these important aspects of a relationship. I feel like at this age, people either get it (and have great, healthy, sustaining relationships) or are they don't (and are sucked back down into the vortex of high school relationships).

I wish I wasn't like this, but lately the things around me have gotten me to think, "What's the point? Why would I want to do that to myself?"

On my mind lately:

Friday, January 8, 2010

Late-Teenage Crisis

They say that people go through a mid-life crisis, something that makes somebody question their purpose in life, their existence, their place.

Well, my "mid-freshman year crisis" or "late-teenage crisis" is upon me.

Why did I give up my dream of going to CSU to stay in Washington? It's not like I am unhappy here, I just question whether or not I made the right decision by giving into the norm of going to an in-state university. Part of me wishes I had a completely fresh start at the beginning of my college experience, while another part of me is gracious for having long-time friends that are here to experience freshman year right along with me. But what do I really want? What is going to ultimately make me happiest?

As of now, I don't even know what I want to major in let alone what I want to do with my life. I've put on this face like "I know what the hell I want and I'm going to get it" but I honestly have NO idea. Should I major in Communications because it's general and I enjoyed in in high school? Or should I keep searching to discover a more specialized major that I never knew I enjoyed.

I would love to drop everything at this moment and just go travel. Obviously this would be a horrible decision, and one I will not allow myself to make until I have graduated college. But I cannot wait to take a backpack to Europe and finally LIVE my life for two or three months.

Two people will understand this completely, so thank you in advance.


Sunday, January 3, 2010

if you would like to cry non-stop for two hours... My Sister's Keeper.

I loved it, although I sat on my couch drying my eyes for nearly the entire movie (in spurts of course).

This review, from The Hollywood Reporter sums up one view of the movie. I would recommend watching the entire movie - and not reading the rest of this review on the internet...I only included the portion that includes no *SPOILER ALERTS!*

"If you're going to make a weepy, there's no reason you can't make it with intelligence and insight as the makers of "My Sister's Keeper" have done. The audience manipulation -- if one wants to call it that -- comes from your understanding of these people and how this particular family operates in an atmosphere of love and mutual concern. The tragedy that forces its way into their midst is fought with tenacity, and the conflicts within the family are portrayed in such a manner that no one is a bad guy.

A film about a child with leukemia understandably has a small theatrical audience. Indeed, Jodi Picoult's novel, on which Jeremy Leven and director Nick Cassavetes' screenplay is based, might seem more at home on television, where illness, doctors and hospitals somehow feel less alarming. But "My Sister's Keeper" does benefit from a sagacious big-screen treatment: It allows for nuances and takes time to focus this story of an illness on all the people it affects."

DAMN, just thinking about it makes me wanna shed another tear. But, seriously, it's good. And it's beautiful too.