Wednesday, October 26, 2011

You've Got Growing Up To Do

I wasn’t going to write a blog about this part of my life, but I think it’s valuable for me to record – for inspiration to other who have felt the same way as me, and because I want to brag about it a little bit. I’m truly proud of what I have been doing in my life.

The past few months have tested my strength.  They’ve challenged me to accept things for what they are, and make the most of my situation – no matter what that is.  And they’ve made me a stronger, more independent and more compassionate person. Today, I am much more satisfied with myself and my character than I was in August. I’d be lying if I said I did it all willingly and with a smile on my face.  In fact, it was quite the opposite...because for the longest time, I was in denial.  I didn’t want to accept the fact that a guy I loved had left me and my friends had betrayed me. I thought better of my friends, especially, and had never seen a situation like this happening to me. But, I was wrong…and looking back, that is alright by me.

When I found out about my friend passing away, everything flew into perspective.  As I hit rock bottom, never feeling so overwhelmed by life or so alone, it was as if somebody struck me across the face and said, “Megan, get your ass into gear – the world is bigger than this, and you have a lot of living to do.”  It was just the wakeup call I needed and as I laid there in my room, staring at the ceiling, I knew that I had some growing up to do.

It may sound corny, but I’m a true believer in the saying “Everything Happens for a Reason.” The beginning of September left me on my own - but in doing so, I came to realize that I wasn’t in fact alone. I had support systems from my family, from my workplace, from the University of Washington, and from my hometown of Puyallup too. Just because I wasn’t receiving the support I needed from the people I had expected to be there for me, wasn’t an indicator that I was on my own for good. Instead of wallowing in my sorrows, I picked myself up and started to figure out my life. I set out to rekindle relationships from the past, make connections with new people, excel in school, and work hard in everything else.  I figured that with all of these things in line, the rest would figure itself out…and it has.

There have been ups and downs, of course, but that is normal in anything. I’ve had friend issues, school issues, boy issues, etc. but it’s all part of the bigger picture. As of now I’m on track to graduate at the end of Summer 2012, I’m planning a study abroad trip to Barbados in June and July, I have a high-paying job at a restaurant, I’ve been making friends like crazy and maintaining the relationships that matter most to me. Most importantly, though, for the first time in a long time I go to bed nearly every night with a smile on my face.

I feel as though I have rebuilt my life from the ground up since September 1st and I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and extremely excited to see how I continue to grow in the upcoming months. 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Who Am I?

I've grown up more in this year than I ever thought I would. I've never been one to run from my problems, but this year running hasn't even been an option. I've been challenged with a lot of situations, and I've confronted them with my head held high and grown into the young woman I like to see myself as. This year I am more "me" than I have ever been before.  I'm comfortable in my own skin, I'm surrounded by the greatest people in the world, and I feel like everything has finally fallen into place (even though it's not where I saw myself being at age 20).
I've grown from my own mistakes.  I've grown from others mistakes.  I've grown from example (both good and bad).  And, I've grown from witnessing others in the same position as me.
Who am I?
I am a friend, a sister, a daughter, a lover, a peace-maker, a student, a hard worker, an optimist, I am me.
I am one who puts others first, a caring soul, wild and crazy and a hippie at heart.
Who are you?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

on my mind:

I wanted to have a post that was cohesive and put together well, but I feel there's too much on my mind to do that. I haven't blogged in ages and I need to get back into the swing of things. So, here's a bit of an update...

On school: I'm officially a junior. That is actually really weird to say considering I feel like it was just yesterday when I was in high school calling myself a junior. I finished out last quarter really well...I'd say my best yet :) I'm excited because now I am done with my general undergraduate requirements and I get to take classes I'm actually interested in! This should be a good one...but I'm already yearning for summer!
Speaking of summer: Kelsey and I have officially decided to live in James' room for the summer. Basically means cheap rent and a little bit of cramming for 3 months, but it's so worth it! I've been searching (kind of) for jobs. I'm hoping to get a job in a restaurant. I don't know how I'd go without tips for an entire hopefully that all works out. I went in and dropped off a resume at a restaurant that's close to campus and the manager seemed pretty impressed so I'm hoping that's a good sign. I'm going to apply to a bunch more restaurants in the meantime though! :) I'm mainly just excited to be living in Seattle for the summer. I love this city and everything it has to offer, and I love the U-District too. It's lively, fun and there is so much to do! I may even be getting a visit from a long-lost friend who lives in Kansas which would be fun, fun, fun!!!
On Spring Break adventures: The vacation with Dad went surprisingly well. We had a lot of fun, no arguments, and some temperamental weather (snow in the Grand Canyon & Sedona, then 85 degree weather in Phoenix). I've never listened to so much country music in my life, but I'm okay with it. Overall it was a good time, and I think it was a good thing for our ailing relationship as well.
On apartment hunting: The search is over! :) Kelsey, Amy and I put down a deposit on an apartment yesterday and we move in early September! Absolutely cannot wait! It's going to be amazingggg! I love my girls, and the place we got is nice and close. It's familiar to me because Mitchell & Gregger live there and I've spent quite a bit of time there this year. We're all excited to have it out of the signing tomorrow! :)
On friends: Well they always say there are ups and downs to any relationship. I'd say a few of my relationships are in the "down" parts right now. It's frustrating because I invest a lot of myself into people and it's hard to not have that reciprocated. But, as everything is, it's a learning experience and I am confident these struggles are only going to make me stronger in the future. I wish I had a few more answers, but I also realize this is probably not going to happen. Just gotta go with the flow and hope things end up alright in the end! The ones that matter most will be there no matter what. To quote Bruno Mars (whom I actually despise, fyi): "You can count on me like 1 2 3, I'll be there. And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2, and you'll be there. Cause that's what friends are supposed to do!"  I'm lucky and blessed to have many people in my life like this - people I can count on no matter what. Whether they're there to provide a shoulder to cry on, hand me the bottle of Kraken or text me a sweet's appreciated. So, to those who are one of my few, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
On cheating: It's unacceptable, and that's that. But people make mistakes...and if mistakes are made, please be the bigger person and OWN UP to them. The consequences may be difficult to deal with, but the weight of the guilt would be bigger. My thought is that if you are willing to cheat on your significant other, that should be enough evidence that something in your relationship is either missing or in need of fixing. It makes me sick to see people I truly care about handling tough situations in a less-than-desirable fashion, and I hope that eventually they come around and realize what is best!
On random shit: I need a haircut. I'm obsessed with Adele and The Dean's List. I just ate delicious butternut squash soup. I miss my best friends Nick & Chanel. I can't wait to go to Weezy with Kels in less than a month! I am crossing my fingers and praying that the DMB Caravan comes to The Gorge...I will cry of sheer joy if they do. I wanna go snowboarding really badly. I love that I'm finally strong enough to move on and be happy with my decisions. I can't believe there are only 9 weeks until summer! :)

Wellp, that's all for now!! Maybe I'll be better about updating now!
As always, peace and love <3

Love & Basketball

As March Madness comes to a close, I get really sad. First off - I can't spend hours upon hours watching games and cheering for my bracket. Second off - I don't get to see Brandon Knight as frequently! So terrible.
I would move to Kentucky in a heartbeat if I could...hahahah :)


I forgot how awesome this movie was, until I watched it last night. It's really just a classic.

"They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're YOU. I mean...look, forgive me. It's just you are DROP DEAD, CRAZY GORGEOUS! So much so that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here."

Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you first about the way I was feeling.
I'm sorry that I did this to you.
I'm sorry that I put everything I had into making us work and then threw it away.
I'm sorry that I couldn't answer all of your questions.
I'm sorry that I say "I'm sorry" too much.
I'm sorry that it took me losing you to really realize what I wanted.
I'm sorry I'll never be able to make you change your mind.
I'm sorry because I know this is all my fault.
I'm sorry.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A moment to breathe

Phew! This has been an exhausting week...
I'm starting my new job today - in fact, I'm here now but it's a "settling in" week, so I don't have much to do! It's kind of great to just sit here and breathe for a bit. I've needed this break today.
I have to vent for a moment: last night sucked. I don't think I've ever been this torn about something before. And it's not a feeling I enjoy much. It's like I have everything I've wanted for so long - and then timing comes into the picture and decides to be a bitch.
Don't get me wrong, though. I really am happy...just simultaneously confused.

Friday, January 28, 2011


A lot of people may not stand by me in my most recent decision. But those who know me, and know the situation best, will be there no matter what. A text to my best friend, soul sister, and life twin will explain why:

"I'm so happy, I really am. And it's real happy. Not 'I think this could make me happy' or 'I want this to make me happy' or 'this should make me happy'...I just am. :)"

I was never looking for a perfect scenario - I wasn't expecting a fairy tale story at the age of twenty. I just wanted a story that worked. And for some odd reason, this is it. This works, we work...and I'm happy :)

Saturday, January 1, 2011


I'm always bad at making (and keeping) resolutions for the new year. But 2011 is upon us, and I feel like I should at least try to come up with something.
Here's what I got so far...

Enjoy life more. Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est, in English, can be translated to 'life is about more than merely being alive' or something along those lines and I need to take this into better account during 2011. I would like to live in the moment, and appreciate what surrounds me.
Don't sweat the small stuff. This is important for me, especially with as busy and hectic as my life sometimes is. It's also something that is extremely difficult for me to put into action, so I'm going to work on it :)
Take each experience as a lesson. Each day, I become a stronger believer of "everything happens for a reason" and I am putting this to the test in 2011. Every experience of my year is meaningful, and put there to teach me, stretch me or test me. Recognizing this will make the previous two resolutions more meaningful and possible.

So that's that, cheers to 2011! :)