I'm sorry.
Phew! This has been an exhausting week...
I'm starting my new job today - in fact, I'm here now but it's a "settling in" week, so I don't have much to do! It's kind of great to just sit here and breathe for a bit. I've needed this break today.
I have to vent for a moment: last night sucked. I don't think I've ever been this torn about something before. And it's not a feeling I enjoy much. It's like I have everything I've wanted for so long - and then timing comes into the picture and decides to be a bitch.
Don't get me wrong, though. I really am happy...just simultaneously confused.
A lot of people may not stand by me in my most recent decision. But those who know me, and know the situation best, will be there no matter what. A text to my best friend, soul sister, and life twin will explain why:
"I'm so happy, I really am. And it's real happy. Not 'I think this could make me happy' or 'I want this to make me happy' or 'this should make me happy'...I just am. :)"
I was never looking for a perfect scenario - I wasn't expecting a fairy tale story at the age of twenty. I just wanted a story that worked. And for some odd reason, this is it. This works, we work...and I'm happy :)
I'm always bad at making (and keeping) resolutions for the new year. But 2011 is upon us, and I feel like I should at least try to come up with something.
Here's what I got so far...
Enjoy life more. Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est, in English, can be translated to 'life is about more than merely being alive' or something along those lines and I need to take this into better account during 2011. I would like to live in the moment, and appreciate what surrounds me.
Don't sweat the small stuff. This is important for me, especially with as busy and hectic as my life sometimes is. It's also something that is extremely difficult for me to put into action, so I'm going to work on it :)
Take each experience as a lesson. Each day, I become a stronger believer of "everything happens for a reason" and I am putting this to the test in 2011. Every experience of my year is meaningful, and put there to teach me, stretch me or test me. Recognizing this will make the previous two resolutions more meaningful and possible.
So that's that, cheers to 2011! :)
Last night was just what I needed.
As I sat in the passenger seat on the way to Bellevue, I spilled my guts; and afterward my best friend, sometimes the only person that can see my mind clearly, brought me back to earth. It’s a harsh reality that I did not want to hear, much less accept.
We had a great dinner at Cheesecake Factory and then shuffled across the street to see How Do You Know? at Lincoln Square. Pretty typical chick flick about a girl dating the wrong guy, while the right guy sits on the sidelines yearning for her attention…we all knew what was going to happen in the end. But really…? It’s a movie! How often in the real world does the right guy get left behind? It kind of got my mind working.
Had a few texts to return after the movie, then we hit the road for home. The following two songs came on, back to back, and I felt like I was in another world:
