These make me feel better about my life

Go to fmylife.com. It automatically makes my life seem so much better! :]

"Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. She's my sister. FML"

"Today, my boss told me that I was hired because of how much I reminded him of his daughter. Taking this as a compliment, I mentioned it to a co-worker who I was trying to impress. I later found out that my boss’ daughter is both clinically obese and mentally challenged. FML"

"Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML"

"Today, my mom called me and told me i got accepted to my first choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read the letter she said, oops...never mind. FML"

"Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML"

"Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, 'Accidents happen.' She replied, 'Yeah, like your birth.' FML"

I feel ten times better now :]