Constellations

It is seriously my dream to have a night where the night sky is perfectly clear, there is snow everywhere around me, and I'm curled up in a (really warm) blanket with some form of hot beverage in my hand just looking up at the night sky.  I don't know what it is about star-gazing that gets me, but it does.  I could lay under the stars for hours if I'm in the right mood and be perfectly content with life.
This might be a stretch, but I think that stars are a good reflection of people. You can look at them as a whole (the entire night sky/the entire human race), a portion (a section of the sky/ a constellation/a more defined group of people), or singularly (one star/one person).  Each view can offer a different perspective.  Some look better & fit better in a group than others, even though they're all in the same general area. No matter what, each individual is beautiful and distinct.  Some stand out, and others fade further into the background - but each is necessary for the whole picture to work.
I think I just got way too simile-y for my own good...but it was an interesting thought that ran through my mind this afternoon.
Made me think of this picture I took at the Jack Johnson concert at the Gorge in October. This is during his song "Constellations" - so pretty, and fitting.

I've been home for approximately 31 hours and it's been everything I expected, I suppose. Tomorrow we're trekking to Bellingham for Thanksgiving day and then heading back home on Friday morning. I got the GREATEST news today about my best friend...it's still a secret though, so no disclosure via blogging :) Basically it made my day 230948 times better!
I'm excited for the weekend when I get back from Bellingham. Hopefully the winter wonderland that has taken over Puyallup will have subsided enough so that I can safely drive. Once I get out my neighborhood it wouldn't be a big deal, but right now it's like a solid sheet of ice. I'm excited to see a few people I haven't had the chance to see in a long time - whether it be from school, distance, or months of silence. Not gonna lie, I'm a little bit anxious about it too. It's a weekend of reunions I suppose :)
As for now, I'm exhausted and it's not even midnight...this is what the 253 does to me (or that's what Brian & I attribute it to)! I'm going to try to finish watching "The Holiday" tonight. I've watched it for 4 nights now (not even consecutive!) and I still haven't gotten all the way through. 5th night's a charm?

Goodnight; peace; love <3

Exciting stuff

I can now blog from my iPod :)
It's also snowing outside!
Today is the best!!!!!

Complicated

Let's start this by saying that Rihanna's new album "Loud" is incredible. Me and the roomies have been blasting it throughout the cluster since we got our hands on it. Her voice is pure, the album is diverse, and like usual she writes from her heart.

Complicated may be my favorite song on the CD because it resonates with me and I wish it didn't. I know a lot of people who agree with me when I say that I can relate. Why do people put up with shit like this?

"Cause every minute you start switching up 

And you say things like you don't give a fuck 

Then I say I'm through with you 

Take my heart from you 

And you come runnin after me and baby I'm back with you"

On a BIT of a side-note, I've been stronger & better lately.
But for now, back to studying. I'm unbelievably excited for Thanksgiving break...can't wait to get some sleep :)

this is good shit

"You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter."

Lie To Me - Greg Laswell

What of my escape

What else can I say

I'll play dead and you can stay

and I'll help you kill your time

If you help me kill my night

and maybe one day get it right

Go ahead and lie to me

I'll believe in anything you say tonight

Go ahead and lie to me

Write I love you while I sleep

and hide it for another day to find

I will not confuse

this with something true

Only that what gets us through

And I wonder down the line

when both of us are fine

My mind wanders there sometimes

Go ahead and lie to me

I'll believe in anything you say tonight

Go ahead and lie to me

Write I love you while I sleep

and hide it for another day to find

I don't mind playing the fool

I don't mind playing the fool

I don't mind playing the fool

Go ahead and lie to me

I'll believe in anything you say tonight

Go ahead and lie to me

Write I love you while I sleep

and hide it for another day to find

parte dos

Tonight I was thinking to myself - wondering why I often allow myself to be in less-than-desirable situations. It's not as if I don't realize what I'm getting myself into, or letting myself succumb to...I just don't care enough to stop it. I honestly think it's because I'm afraid of the inevitable loss, opposed to looking toward the possible gain. Certainty vs. uncertainty.

My old youth pastor said this tonight, as a part of his facebook status: "Life is fragile, live intentionally." For some reason tonight, as I look out the window at the lights illuminating U-Village, this resonates with me. What am I doing to live my life intentionally? Are my decisions at the present helping or harming my future?

Just some food for thought :)

Ordinary Girl

Wow!! It's been far too long since I sat down and wrote for anything besides academia. My last post is from October 7 - nearly a month ago - and I'm pretty sure that is the absolute longest I've gone without writing a blog, or in my private journal, since I started writing down my thoughts consistently during my sophomore year of high school. How crazy is that?! I've been constantly narrating my life using lyrics, poems, anecdotes or diary-like posts/journal entries for over four years! Incredible...

I've obviously been super busy. School (first round of midterms complete...now onto round two!), work, the gym and attempting a social life has kept me busy at nearly every moment. Halloweek was a great success. I had so much fun with my girls! The progression of my costumes is as follows: boxer, Tom Cruise from Risky Business, green crayon & a nerd.

Rachel the scientist, Danielle the French maid

Of course Danielle & Regan were kitties :)

All the girls - 8 pack!

Kayla was Victoria Beckham...and looked the part! Can't believe we went to dinner downtown looking like this!

Pretty damn epic if I say so myself :) It was a great weekend, albeit unproductive, but great. Snapped back to reality last night when I realized I had a midterm tomorrow...yikes! So here I am, sitting in the library BLOGGING instead of studying. I'm horrible.

Hmm...so let's see here. Life. I can't really complain right now which is refreshing! :) I'm surrounded by the greatest friends I could have ever imagined and I'm building relationships with them that I'm positive will last a lifetime. It's one of those things you always think about when you're younger...questions like: Who will be at my wedding? Who is going to be the "pseudo-aunt/uncle" to my kids when that time comes around? Who do I want to live down the street from in an ideal world? I feel like some of these questions will be answered this year and that seems so surreal to me, but it's absolutely incredible!

One of my best friends told me awhile ago that I need to "evaluate" myself - figure out what I want, what I need, etc. I've been working on that the past month or so. Really digging into my soul to figure out what it is that's best for me. What I've decided is that what I want and what I need are two very different things right now. What I ultimately want, I'm not ready for. So why would I want to waste that now when I know that it's not the right timing? This has been a tricky realization - but I know that it's what is best right now :) Despite my moments of frustration and breakdown, I know that the situation I'm in currently is going to be okay because right now - I'm not ready for more, and I don't want to accept less. I'm in the middle-ground, and as annoying as that is sometimes, it is ideal. Many may not understand why I put up with this, but unless they have been there themselves, it's hard to really know.

Due to this new outlook, my previous post has been resolved. As much as I care - this thorn cannot consume my thoughts. It's a small bump in the road, and I'm confident that things will be sorted out in due time. And it's great to realize that each day I wake up, it is easier to accept that fact.

However scattered this blog is, the "word vomit" was necessary. I can never let myself go this long without writing again because this is only a scratch at the surface of what has been going through my mind the past month. On a completely random note, this reggae I'm listening to in the library is making me wanna dance - but I should really be studying above everything else...so here we go! Back to biopsychology ;)

I'll leave you with this, from Rebelution's song "Ordinary Girl" that's currently BLARING through my headphones...I someday want a boy to sing me this entire song:

"You're no ordinary girl, yeah you always speak your mind

You're no ordinary girl, yeah you're one of a kind

You're no ordinary girl, yeah well I can see it in your eyes

You're no ordinary girl, yeah oh yes that's right"

Peace and love (as always).