THANK GOD

Thank God you're alright.
Thank God for the guardrail.
And thank God I got a hug before I left today.

I don't know what I would've done.
I'm just glad everything is okay and you're safe.

I've been reminiscing a little bit too much for my liking lately. Thinking about you & me, missing the way things were.

And maybe I just think too much.

you make my dreams come true

I know what I need to do - and that is stop thinking. I hate thinking so much - despite the fact that I'm prone to it. Or maybe that is why I hate it so much.
I hate seeing failed relationships - but I also hate the types of relationships I've had lately. I need a happy medium, and I think I'm finally ready to find it...

Blarghhh.

Current Playlist (in no particular order)

MGMT "Oracular Spectactular"

A Fine Frenzy "One Cell In The Sea"

Animal Collective "Fall Be Kind"

George Winston "All The Seasons of George Winston: Piano Solos"

John Mayer "Battle Studies"

Celine Dion "These Are Special Times"

Yann Tiersen "Amelie"

stumbleupon.com

this website will be the end of me.

so amazing, yet so distracting.

<3

T-minus 5 days.

:] yay yay yay! 2 finals to go!
Parents are coming up tonight to go to a concert with a bunch of our family friends. I'm getting picked up at like 5:30 and we're going to eat at an amazing Thai restaurant downtown by Seattle Center...mmm! In order to prepare for such an experience, I'm eating absolutely nothing today so I'm starving by the time dinner hits and I enjoy it even more! Love love love! Also, gotta love jazzy Christmas music :] I've heard that Jesse's jazz band is one of the best in the nation so I am excited to hear them!
Gotta study a bit more this afternoon - and also when I get back from downtown tonight.
Went and turned in my applications at all of the U-Village places I am applying yesterday. Jamie (the adorable gay host/manager) from Sonrisa gave me great hope of getting hired! Yippeee! So, we'll see what happens. I'm still going in on Monday to Morton's Steakhouse downtown because they seemed mildly interested - even though they're supposedly not hiring - when I talked to the manager on the telephone. When I'm down there I might as well do a bit of Christmas shopping. I only know what I'm getting for Ryan, and I have NO idea what to do for Mom & Dad. Agh! I guess it's good I have 10 days once I get home...

In other news, the drama has mellowed here :] Thank God! I've been laying low and taking it easy for the past few days.

(Side note: Finals week + craving chocolate + major study sessions = fat thighs, ickkk)

ALSO, I am so excited to go see White Christmas on Wednesday after my Psych final with Mom. That should be fantastically fun! :]

And! Gerry had a dream that we entered the "11th-Annual Lingerie Ice Cream Making Contest" Best dream ever.

T-minus 7 days.

I never, ever, ever thought I would be saying this - but I am unbelievably stoked to go home. I'm sick of being here, and not having my good ol' "Megan time." I never realized how much I appreciated that time until I left & had to deal with drama and pretty much internalize it so I don't affect the people around me.
Gooooooooood times, not. I'm ready to be back - even though it's only for two weeks. I'm sure at the end of the two weeks I'll be ready to be back here.

Ugh, please come faster....
TWSS ;]

here ya have it

it's done, it's over! no more messing around, no more secrets, no more lies.

i'm sure a few of you are happy - and a very, VERY select few are bummed.

i don't know where i stand yet.

Update:

It's honestly crazy to me that I've been so busy that this is the first afternoon that I've literally had to do NOTHING since I've been at school. Granted, I'm going to a psychology review later tonight - but that doesn't count. I didn't have homework, because I accidentally did too much homework yesterday.
I got back from class today in the best mood because I realized that the Spanish essay that I thought was due today was in fact due tomorrow! :] So, I already had that checked off my "to-do list" and that left two things: 1) Do one of the GoPosts for next week so I don't have to worry about it, and 2) Go to Psych review session at 8pm. CHECK and (almost) CHECK! Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic.
To top that off, I currently have the room to myself - which never, ever happens on weeknights - and that is incredible because I feel like I can just do nothing and not feel guilty about it. It's not that I don't love roommates...I just finally realized, until I got to college, how much I truly valued my alone time when I was living in my own room. Just kickin' back and relaxing feels amazing. I also feel like I have time to just blog. I haven't done this in forever because I don't like blogging when I'm around people. It's more of a journal - and you wouldn't write in a journal in a public setting...at least I wouldn't!
Well, hmmm, life update: Most people that read this (and actually care about it) already know what's going on. But, currently I have a little bit of a knot in my stomach - I feel excited, relieved, guilty, hopeful, etc. I don't really know why I feel all of these emotions at the same time, but I definitely feel them. Actually, I lied, I know EXACTLY why I feel all of them - it's just not something I'm going to advertise anywhere.
I have a Psych midterm on Wednesday (I feel pretty good about it because my first two scores were high and he drops your lowest score of the first three). And other than that - this week is going to be a breeze! I get to ride the Sounder home on Wednesday to be with my family (and friends!) for Thanksgiving. So far, I'm planning on shopping Wednesday when I get home - I need a pair of rainboots and a new pair of jeans because my favorites ripped...saddest day ever. Then it's off to Hot Chick and Sushi Town with Dallas - my long, lost trick! Thanksgiving is Thursday. I'm for sure getting together with Nick at some point, and on Friday afternoon we're having a Friendsgiving at Justin's house before a lot of us head back up to Seattle for Apple Cup preparations! :] I am so unbelievably excited for Wednesday-Sunday. They are going to be some fantastic days for me! Woooohooooo.
On a more depressing note, I miss Chanel - a ton, a ton, a ton! All I want is to hang out with her - I'm pretty sure I'm going to save up some money and buy a plane ticket for spring break because I really wanna go visit. I know it's a long time from now, but I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna miss her more and more. It's even gotten to the point where I've contemplated going down to the PSD offices when I'm home at some point to drop off coffee for Tracey because I know she'd love it! Big Sis - come home! :]
Next quarter I'm taking Astronomy 101, English 111 (a literature/writing class) and Sociology 275 (all about murder). Should be a fun schedule - I'm actually really excited. Plus, it's fantastic because on Monday, Wednesday and Friday I only have one class and it's done at 11:20AM so I finally have time to get a job. After Thanksgiving I'm going to take a resume around to a bunch of restaurants in U-Village and hopefully get hired to work some lunch shifts because I'm definitely going to want some money. I see my bank account (as full as it looks, it's emptier than I want it to be) and I'm just like "Wow, I need a job!!"
Anyway, this is the longest blog EVER and I actually feel bad for anybody who read this start to finish. Time for dinner & then Psych review (CHECK!).
Peace & Love.

Battle Studies

Dear John,

I love you so much. Seriously, could your voice be more beautiful? I cannot wait to see you in March - again! :]

Love,
Megan


BEST TRACKS ON BATTLE STUDIES:
-All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye
-Heartbreak Warfare
-Half of My Heart
-Who Says
-Assassin

If you don't have it, buy it. Worth your money for sure.
<3 <3 <3

I haven't blogged in forevers. Guess it's because a lot of what I have to say should not be posted for the world to see.

Currently I am in love with Brian's espresso machine, toasted bagels and cream cheese from The Eight, "The Middle," my FIG, Husky basketball, downtown Seattle and sleeping (however often I neglect it).

Life's been pretty good, can't complain - at least not on here ;]

Music for my soul

This is the playlist I've been listening to on repeat for the past few days. Good music, but I feel like I shouldn't be dwelling on this.

"Gravity" - Embrace
"Breathing" - Progress in Color
"Happier" - Guster
"Buildings & Mountains" - The Republic Tigers
"Astair" - Matt Costa
"Home" - Michael Buble
"Cannonball" - Damien Rice
"Caring is Creepy" - The Shins
"Far More" - The Honorary TItle
"Wires" - Athlete
"Brooklyn Boy" - Kevin Devine
"Naive" - The Kooks
"Masterfade" - Andrew Bird
"Country Mile" - Camera Obscura
"Shit Song" - Kate Nash
"Skinny Love" - Bon Iver
"Fix You" - Coldplay
"Girl Sailor" - The Shins
"Wonderwall" - Ryan Adams
"Mykonos" - Fleet Foxes
"Claustrophobe" - Katie Todd
"Where I Stood" - Missy Higgins (Live from Mountain Music Lounge)
"More" - Tyrone Wells
"True Affection" - The Blow
"Gotta Figure This Out" - Erin McCarley
"We Get On" - Kate Nash

Mrrrr. <3

I'm gonna lay it all out for you,

So here's the deal - I'm sick of dealing with this. I'm sick of thinking about you all the time. And I'm sick of you PRETENDING like you actually care about me.
This has to end, because it's finally time for me to have the chance to move on and stop worrying about you. Yeah, sure, I could probably do this with no help from you - but it would be great if you would stop sending me mixed signals.

On another note, college = love. My best friend Chanel was right when she said this would be the time in my life where I change the most. I can already feel myself changing into somebody different than I thought I was. I'm more myself here than I've been at any other point in my life. I love it.

Halloween is in a week - oh my goodness. I got my slutty costume all picked out. I'm most likely gonna go to "Hundred Club" at SigEp with my boys :] and then on Saturday we'll figure something out I'm sure! I'm excited!

THE END.

I finally feel like I'm in college now.

Saturday: Pre-game/tailgate with SigEp! Then the game...which I almost left with about 4 minutes to go in the 4th quarter. THANK GOD I didn't leave like half the other fans. Such a great ending!! :] Attempted to sleep while the marching band played outside our window until 1am.

Sunday: Spent the ENTIRE day in my room doing homework/reading/studying (minus that one little break where Dad came to take me to Dicks, bring my laptop charger & new chair).

Monday: Both the roommates were sick so I didn't go in my room at all. Had to study for a Spanish test, read psychology & write a 4-5 page paper about Alex, the 30-year-old Grey parrot. Went to Suzzallo with Leon to read psychology...spent almost three hours there. 4:30 hits and we're both starving so it was off to the HUB - unfortunately they only had pizza so we went to The 8 instead. Got a cup of soup and went to Leon's room to chill/slurp soup (the McCarty rooms have so much floor space)! From there came back to my room to double check on Kristen & Brooke. And, after seeing their states of health - left AGAIN to go to Ian's Domain and crank out my paper. Finished it! :] There was a random fire-drill when I was about half way done and that totally made me lose my train of thought, but it was all good in the end! After I finished my essay, Brian came down to visit me for a bit and I started to study some more Spanish vocab (119 words...agh!) and I ate a few Apple-O's. Next it was off to Gabe's for a "short break" which turned into an hour and a half of just sitting there talking about random shit, listening to Simon's crazy music selections and planning our our Laser Show excursion! Honestly, I think it was the most "college-y" day I've had since I've been here.

Today: I have class in an hour and a half - and at 12:30 I have my first college test. FML. I'm really nervous actually because I have NO idea what to expect :/ Hopefully I've prepared enough...guess I'm going to use my hour and a half before Psych to study! Go me ;]

If you read this entire thing, miss you & love you <3

Oh my #2

so much for that

Oh my.

If this actually happens, I do not know what I will do...
:]

Rocky Horror Picture Show

1) I caught the garter of the dancing, cross-dressed, straight guy.
2) We yelled "SLUT!" "ASSHOLE!" and "YOU HAVE NO NECK!" just the right amount of times.
3) My ass was numb by the end from sitting.
4) We watched, enviously, of everybody doing the timewarp dance...which kbm WILL learn.
5) We enjoyed yummy cereal & hot chocolate.
6) I laughed (repeatedly) at commentary shouted out by the RHPS fans that were perfectly placed behind us.

What an interesting evening.

Finally here

The change is upon me. And it's incredible.

I LOVE:
-my roommates; Kristen & Brooke
-the IMA
-campus in general
-our room (even though it's kinda narrow)
-the Brita water filter we have in our fridge
-SigEp boys
-watching Grey's Anatomy and crying with Brooke
-Sam, our awesome RA, who has been helping us tons with our retarded cable & ethernet plugs
-being on my own

yay!

Do you ever...?

have those days where you just feel....

...uncoordinated?
...inflexible?
...huge?
...lazy?

yesterday was one of those days - and yoga did not help.

On winning, losing and calling it quits

On winning: UW fought through. We beat the No. 3 team in the nation - USC - and I will forever remember the feeling of stumbling/storming the field holding onto my best friend. I won't be able to forget the moment where Alex & I looked at each other (after jumping up and down hugging and screaming, of course) and said "What the fuck!! We are going to beat USC!" It was incredible. I feel so gracious to be a part of a community/school/city where it doesn't matter how many times you leave a game frustrated you still come back to the stadium the following week. Tailgates are amazing (x2348972) and the entire atmosphere of standing in Husky Stadium on gameday is ridiculously awesome. "GO!!" ... "HUSKIES!"

On losing: My house, my yellow walls, my closet, Izzy, family dinners. You will all be a part of my past in four days when I move to Seattle. Although you will not be lost forever, you will be greatly missed. There's something exciting about living on my own and in my favorite city, yet there is something equally terrifying. The fear of the unknown. And the fear of not having my daddy there to kill spiders in my room is quiet unnerving, also. Nevertheless, I shall embrace the change and I'm sure I'll love it so much that I never want to come back to Puyallup.

On calling it quits: There's no point in "us" anymore, and it breaks my heart. But I don't know what to say or do anymore. The truth is - I am starting a new point in my life in a few days. I was informed last night that I will do the most changing I've ever done in the first few months of freshman year, and I do not doubt that one bit. I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about me (as cliche and dumb as it is to say that). I'm not a fan of quitting, but in this case, I think it would be best if I just stop trying and see what happens from there.

But, I'm not quite sure....about any of this. I would really love for something to jump out at me and be an obvious sign - but I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen.

Or...it just did. The phone rang!

goodness gracious!

It's been ages since I've really written on here and I don't know why. I've had so many great things to write about lately - and I've just been so caught up in my actual life that I haven't had the time (or the desire) to write about it.
It's quite possibly the best feeling in the world.

Life right now is great, unexpected, fun, and filled with laughter. I have no idea what the next few weeks will entail because there are SO many huge changes going on. Part of me is scared, but the majority is completely ready to embrace and envelope myself in all of the great things I know are coming.

I am so excited, and I cannot stop smiling for the life of me! :]

gracias :]

I've been doing a lot of cleaning - hypothetically and literally - and it has got me thinking about you. Each of you have impacted my life so greatly and I cannot thank you enough. As I move onto a very different chapter of my life, I think it's crucial that you know how you've impacted who I am, who I was and who I hope to be. A few of you may think I'm full of shit, and another few of you may think "No way!" but I swear to you, each and every sentence below is true. I excluded names, not because I don't want people to know, but because I feel like you'll know who you are. Thank you, I mean it.

uno
You've been somebody I have looked up to since the first day I met you. You're intelligent, beautiful, compassionate and simply amazing. I wouldn't have survived sophomore year (or any other year, for that matter) with out you. I think about you all the time and how you have been a constant supporter of my life - I'll never be able to eat an Oat Fudge Bar without you...ever.

dos
Thank you for taking me to Bite of Seattle when I'm sad, making me laugh and supporting me through EVERYTHING. I'm going to miss you more than you realize...

tres
I may never understand why you did what you did, and why you treat me the way you do now. But I hope you understand that the reasons you gave me were all wrong - I did love you, and you just couldn't see it. One day, I hope you will be able to be my friend.

cuatro
You were the true definition of "best friend" and I'm sad to see that we no longer share that relationship. You taught me so much about myself, about being a friend, and about going for my dreams. Thank you for all of the laughs, letting me cry on your shoulder, and teaching me to be a stronger individual. I will never forget our summers, our memories, or you.

cinco
You're one of my best friends, and I'm fortunate I met you as a sophomore when I felt completely alone. Your smiling face & contagious laugh have comforted me through many frustrating moments of my high school life. Thank you for being a true friend, through everything. I'm thankful that we have become much closer over this past year...and I attribute a lot of that to our Vegas trip & late night sneak-out to Bobby's room. :] Love you girl, miss you tons.

seis
You're the best friend I could ever ask for, and the best big sister I always wanted. You're incredible - and I would not have made it this year without your friendship. You've been there whenever I've needed you, and I cherish all of our memories we've created in such a short amount of time. You're the one person I know I can count on at all times (even if it's just for a day in pajamas watching movies) and the girl I can trust to walk the "walk of shame" right along with me and hand me the bottle when I need/want it most. I love youuuuu.

siete
Thank you for loving me, whether I deserved it or not. Without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. You are a part of my life that I will never forget, and never regret.

ocho
You've put up with my shit for over a year now, and I'm glad you haven't killed me yet. Here's to another year, right? :] (I'm not counting on the fact that you won't kill me) You've taught me a lot about myself, whether you know it or not. Our similarities sometimes freak me out, and the amount of times we've been able to say "WE WOULD!" is a bit concerning, but I love you all the same. Thanks for making my senior year one to remember.

nueve
I remember this one night that you came over and sat on my porch, then layed in my front yard just talking for hours. Those were the days. You truly changed my outlook on life. Thanks.

diez
Your constant encouragement and willingness to listen has been such a blessing. I would not be the same person without you in my life, and I hope you knew that before reading this. Beside the fact that we led parallel lives for awhile there, I just enjoy being able to talk to you (about EVERYTHING) with no regrets and the knowledge I know you're not going to judge me. I hope things never change between us, and you better expect visits from me when you move to NYC and do what you always dreamed of doing! :]

once
Thank you for showing me how to have a good time, and introducing me to the best sushi roll ever. I miss you already, but you're always welcome to visit ;] I'll try to answer your 2am phone calls more often :] You truly made my summer - and my life in general - ten thousand times better. Love you trick.

doce
I look up to you in every way imaginable. You are the most beautiful, courageous girl I know. You're a true girl of God and I wish to someday be as influential as you have already been. I hope we continue to stay in each others lives throughout college.

Why?!

Why does the world always seem to spin this way? Where something in your life can be so perfect and in the same day something else can be gut-wrenching horrible.
It's like I have a guilt about me for being so unbelievably happy about one thing while I grieve for others.

Conflicting emotions. Agh.

Something is off

I don't know what it is. But at least once a day I get this horrible feeling in my gut that makes me just want to cry. Could be friends that have turned out to be not so fantastic, the fact that I'm leaving, or small things that are just adding up. Regardless, it's frustrating. And I wish I could just escape to Hawaii or somewhere equally as relaxing for a few weeks and just chill before school starts. Get it all out of my system, per-say. All I know is that something is off - I'm not fully happy, and I should be. I should be able to be completely and utterly joyous for my last month of living at home. It shouldn't be like this...

'nuff said

I hate goodbyes :[

A summer cleanse...

So here I am, taking a break from cleaning my hell-hole of a room...and it amazes me when I come across items (lost, forgotten or intentionally hid away) that bring back memories of me. From past summers; old boyfriends; my upbringing; past hobbies; best friends that have drifted away; letters that are partially ripped from thinking that the destruction would ease the pain; CDs of pictures, slideshows or juvenile mixes; ribbons and medals from my gymnastics days, etc.
Talk about uncovering my past.

This move to Seattle is going to be SO good for me. :]

Silver Birch against a Swedish sky
The singer in the band made me want to cry
We’re all inside our own heads now
We are leaving new friends
We are leaving this town
I wish you could be here with me
I would show you off like a trophy
The road it winds, it twists, it turns, now my stomach burns

Once again I’ll be the foolish one
Thinking a blink of these lashes would make you come
Don’t you worry, don’t get in a state
I don’t believe in true love anyway
Who’s being pessimistic now
I could document this as our first and our last row
The more you look forlorn, the more to you I warm

I won’t be seeing you for a long while
I hope it’s not as long as a country mile
I feel lost

I'm in a Dashboard Confessional sort of mood...

And its making me realize that I have few people in this world that I can truly count on.
To those few, thanks & I love you.

Perplexed

I am wholeheartedly confused as to why this is all happening to me now - a little more than a month before I go to college. Why do I feel as though everything is falling into place? Not perfect place, but place enough for now.
I go to bed smiling, I wake up smiling, I smile throughout the day. My friends (the ones I have found to be true) are incredible, yet the majority of them will be leaving in less than two weeks to various colleges around the state and country. I also feel like I'm finally discovering WHO I AM. That awful question everybody fusses around with and constantly tries to answer as their adolescent years come to a close...and I feel like I'm beginning to find the solution.
Maybe I'm being too sentimental, maybe I'm thinking too much about every little situation. But, for now, I feel like life is near to perfect and I am terrified for it to start all over again on September 24 when I move out of this home (leaving behind what seems like countless memories and experiences) and move into my own place to start my entire life ahead of me.
I am so afraid that everything I have begun here (friends, relationships, experiences, memories) will be forgotten when I step on to campus and attempt to find my way again...but for now - I just want to know why all of this greatness had to happen right before the world shifted.

Wow.

Some days...

Some days I wake up and wonder what the hell I was thinking. This was one of those mornings.

I may have ruined so many things in my life. Specifically the trust of my parents.

I would go back and change numerous things from the past few hours - yet at the same time - it was great. So many conflicting emotions.

WTF!

Meet Izzy

DOB: May 24, 2009
Breed: Cockapoo
Weight: 3 lbs 1 oz

She's adorable and I love her soooo sooooo SOOOO much :] She's a little bundle of energy & I just wanna stay home from college so I can play with her every day. We've started calling her Busy Izzy because she gets into EVERYTHING. And she quite enjoys attacking (licking & jumping) my face and hair.

Mmm, yeah. So, if you'd like to meet her for yourself - let me know. She will probably love you too.

I miss it. I love it.
I'm taking time out of my life specifically for it.
MANSON HERE I COME. <3

it rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

it's times like these, when life seems to be going in slow motion, that i am thankful for my friends.
in the past few days i have realized that i am:

irrational. obnoxious. regretful. and alone.

and i think, because of my friends, that i am going to be okay with this.

P.S.

Albums that have recently won my heart:

"Made Of Bricks" -Kate Nash
download: "Dickhead" and "Mouthwash"
"You Are My Sunshine" -Copeland
download: "The Grey Man" and "To Be Happy Now"
"Veckatimest" -Grizzly Bear
download: "Southern Point" and "Two Weeks"
"Heal For The Honey" -Brooke Waggoner
download: "Live For The Sounds" and "Daylover"
"Scary Fragile" -Butterfly Boucher
download: "A Bitter Song" and "Keeper"
"Far" -Regina Spektor
download: "Laughing With," "Blue Lips" and "Folding Chair"
"Are You Nervous" -Rock Kills Kid
download: "Are You Nervous" and "Paralyzed"

Andddd...some old stuff that i suddenly love again ;]

"Leaving Through The Window" -Something Corporate
download: "Drunk Girl," "Cavanaugh Park" and "You're Gone"
"Some Mad Hope" -Matt Nathanson
download: "Wedding Dress" and "Sooner Surrender"



i love good music.

wow!

i am officially dumb.
whatever, i guess...the past is the past.

it's all clear to me now

please?

make up your freakin' mind.

The truth is...

This sign makes me smile - but it's ironic because I feel like I'm standing at a place like this right now.
The sign is a lot more funny than my life is.

You

And I am waiting for you. I don't even know who you are. But you have to be better than the shit I've been putting up with for the past year.

Please hurry.

love, love, love.

loves:

lake tapps & people who have houses on it
jetskis
85 degree weather
the smell of campfire
reconnecting with friends that have seemed long-lost
crazy stories
s'mores
texting until 3am
movies, such as, "adventureland" and "pineapple express"
housesitting over fourth of july weekend
not having any more grad parties to go to
knowing i am moving out in less than three months
summer

:]

I'm tired of feeling like this.

going to uw for orientation...

and i never wanna come back.

this week has been crazy with my parents. cannot wait for september - it honestly could not come fast enough for me.

next week i'm house-sitting for chanel & her parentals :] woooo, should be fun because her puppies and kitties are so damn cute. hahah

i surprised myself

I never thought that I would get emotional about somebody I never knew, somebody I never met. I never expected myself to be sitting at my computer reading things that were making me just cry tears of complete and utter helplessness. I wasn't expecting sad text messages explaining what it's like to lose a friend.

If there's anything I've learned in the past twenty four hours from somebody I didn't expect to teach me things like this, it's to live life. Every single minute of it. I've learned that telling my friends, especially my best friends, how much they mean to me is crucial.

My heart goes out to everybody that has lost a friend...but I hope I never have to go through what you have.

I never expected to feel like this.

today could have been perfect

I woke up in a complete fog - exhausted from only 5.5 hours of sleep (go me!) - and rolled out of bed to help cook dad's day breakfast. I had six texts, all of which made me smile. Then, breakfast was delicious.
Went to lunch with amazing people, and then to this one boy's house (who will remain nameless for the time being). Which was also amazing. We watched Taken, which is quite the entertaining movie and played Halo, which I officially suck at.
Then I went to work, which was a bit boring, yet at the same time nice because it was moderately slow and my best friends were there!
Came home, continued my fantastic day with a bowl of fruit salad and a movie.
THEN...I get a looming text message. One that didn't make me smile. And now I'm bummed.
This is lameee :[

yayy!

i love friends. and having options.
and not being sad about stupid, stupid douchey boys :]

I would enjoy taking a break from my current life.

This break would include:
-Napping all day long
-Talking to a few select people
-Drinking iced tea
-Wearing cute sunglasses and sundresses
-Having cute boys wandering around with palm leaves to cool me off

THE END.

Just pretend you do...

I feel like you don't give a shit - and maybe you don't. And if that's the case...fake it for goodness sakes.
You're supposed to be my rock, my supporter, etc. And when you don't care at all - it really just makes me want to crumble into a ball and die. Because of all people, I'd expect that you'd be the one to stick by me and tell me that everything's going to be alright. YOU should be the one that's there.
I love you no matter what, but it's things like this that make me sad.

We're done. We did it.
I'm exhausted. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm joyous. But most of all, I'm proud - of all of us.
Class of '09, congratulations!

It's really over...

I feel like I haven't posted in forever. Probably because I haven't.
But I'm unbelievably stoked right now...because I will never sit in a high school classroom again :]
Last day of school means hellooooo summer!!!!!
Here's the plan for the next few days...

Tonight: Senior sunset (our last hooray! as a class - outside of formal stuff)
Sleepover with the friends

Tomorrow: Practice graduation at the fair

Saturday: Graduation & Grad. Party!

Sunday: Grad. party hoppin'.

Tuesday-Thursday: PORTLAND with best friend :]

IT'S REALLY OVER!!!!

Why I loved Memorial Day weekend

1. I made it to state!!! :]
2. I finally got motivated enough to go out and take some senior pictures.
3. I cleaned out my car for the first time in ages.
4. I had the opportunity to do nothing for the first time in ages :]
5. I went running - on my own!
6. The ever looming graduation date is a few days closer.
7. I finally secured a prom date...thank God.
8. I fixed many things in my life.
9. I went to Clear Lake, sat in a 200 degree sauna, and sunbathed on the dock.
10. I regained a bit of trust in mankind.
11. I got to catch up with Chanel after her trip to the Cayman Islands.
12. My mom's car has an iPod port so I can not worry about mix CDs.
13. Campfires are the best.
14. My mommy took me to Express and we went a bit nuts.
15. I didn't do any homework - and it was fantastic...until tonight, when I had to do it all.

Wooooo!

Oh hai.
Just thought I'd drop in to say that:

I'M GOING TO STATE!!!!

I'm pretty excited, if you can't tell. Especially because it's what I've been working towards for three seasons. This is what I've wanted.

I'm jumping next Saturday at 10am for my last "hoorah!" as an Emerald Ridge track athlete.

14 reasons I hate rain

1. It makes freshly cut grass smell yucky.
2. It is May 19.
3. It soaks through my clothes at track.
4. My hair is naturally a mess of frizz and curl.
5. High jump pits get really disgusting & soggy.
6. It makes everything smell gross if you go from outside to inside without changing RIGHT away.
7. It's just dreary.
8. It ruins rollerblading plans.
9. Sticking your arm outside the window when going through drive-throughs gets your money (and your arm) all wet.
10. If your jeans are just a BIT too long, they get all nasty on the bottom.
11. Taking pictures is difficult without a really expensive waterproof lens.
12. It makes me squint when I run.
13. It can feel like a shower, only you don't feel clean after you're done.
14. I just do.

Mrr :[

Thank you Taylor Swift. Thank you for appealing to 13-year-olds and writing music that applies to my sad, sad life.
I promise, this will be my last emo blog for a long time...


All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh

It's really over

It's over. My days consumed by learning are done...until September at least :]
This week has been amazing! Zero stress for the first time ALL YEAR!
I've done nothing but watch movies, play games, and sit around in all of my six classes. It's incredible and I'm pretty sure it's going to stay this way until the end of the year when I graduate...which, by the way, is in 29 days. Hallelujiah.
Track's been going decently, too. I qualified for districts yesterday in high jump, and I triple jump tomorrow so hopefully that goes well.


RELIEF is all I feel. It's amazing. I love it.

wow

thanks a whole fucking lot.

i seriously don't even know what to think right now. i'm angry, yet relieved. regardless, i'm still in a bind.

thanks, thanks, thanks.
NOT

dear you,

you can come home now...
i kinda miss your face.

I'm sick

literally. i'm coughing/sneezing/headache-ing/etc.

plus, i'm sick of all the shit people have been giving me lately about every friggin little thing.

this blog has turned into one pessimistic piece of crap.

Change

I feel like the changes I've made in the past few weeks, and the new people I hang out with, have made my life a little bit better :]
I'm happier (for the most part, and when I'm not on 2.5 hours of sleep) and it's just more fun to get up and go suffer at school (as paradoxical as that sounds).
Going back to the way things were, in some aspects of my life, has also been good. It makes me smile :]
Phoenix on Thursday, and WASL week tomorrow & Tuesday...holla!! So excited, because this week is going to be infinitely better than the last.
<3

Pretty sure I've posted this exact blog before

I'm worn out. From everything.
From school, from track, from JagWire, from friends, from boys, from thinking, from being awake, from being in fights, from working, from writing and editing and designing until 12am.

I seriously feel like I could just curl up in a ball right now and cry...oh wait, I did that twice already today.
Go me!

I am SO UNBELIEVABLY READY for this year to be over.

Recap!

Well, spring break's pretty much over...back to reality! Icky!
I just finished my portfolio (decorating only) and all 120 pages of the Gov textbook I had to read and take notes on. It took far too long.
I'm sitting in the sun right now on my mommy's laptop, and it's quite beautiful outside.

This break was pretty fun, and exactly what I needed. I worked, hung out with Kristen a few days, went to Seattle and bought my prom dress (which is GORGEOUS), finished a few scholarships, signed up for UW housing, went to Crystal for a day of snowboarding, hung out with the guys and learned how to play poker (kinda), chilled with Lauren, listened to my parents argue a lot, and worked out a bunch too! :]

And I just found this PostSecret, which I absolutely love.

Excited

I'm beyond excited for the next 6 months or so...

Phoenix, AZ
Yayyy, nationals! :] Only journalism nerds appreciate this, but it's sunny!

Senior Boards
They'll be over soon enough...thank God!

State
Going this year, no doubt in my mind. I'm gonna work my ass off to get there, and I WILL jump well :]

Senior Ball
Just got my dress today...it's BEAUTIFUL and I love it! Just waitin' on a date now ;]

Summer vacation
Road trip, doing whatever the hell I want, etc. It's going to be amazing.

UW
In the fall, I'm going there with my best friend and I'm so excited to shop for all of our stuff to put in the dorms & eeeeeek! I'm just really stoked.

Quit playin' games with my heart

"Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart"

The past 48 hours have been very strange. I know what I should do...but sometimes I wish I could just ignore what is right and what everybody tells me.

On another note, I just stuffed about 600 things into page protectors for Stortini's and my fingers feel funny...thank god Paul appreciates Chanel and I, or else I would've been PISSED.

Do not rate me

Oh teenage boys, you have not ceased to amaze me with your immaturity.
This weekend, which was generally great, was topped off with an "amazing" Monday at school.
I'm so ready to be out of high school...

Track meets and spanish dinners

Today was fun.
First track meet is out of the way. It was a casual way to start off the season (non-league meet vs Kentridge). I did decently, placing second in my events. I wish I would've jumped 5...that would've been good, especially since I haven't really practiced this season. It would've been a surprise.
Next meet I'm gonna get suckered into running the 4x4. Which I hate...but it's good for me, I guess.
Spanish dinner was fun, minus the fact it took an hour and a half for us to even ORDER! It was yummy though...and I found out some funny stuff from Lia! Bahaha, random.
Now I'm just kickin' it at home. I need to go read "Heart of Darkness," aka the most boring book ever written, EVER. But, I'm definitely putting that off...I'd rather not fall asleep this second.
On another note, I love straight hair...I forget how much I really love it until I have it straight for a few days. It's amazing.
That was random.
Okay, going to go put off reading a bit more...
Loveeees.

Todays love & hate list

Today I Love:
Yoga
Saunas
Smoothies
Sleeping in
Day-before-a-meet workouts
Tanning
Having a cute hair cut

Today I Hate:
Families that fight
Arguing
Boys that can't make up their minds
Coaches that guilt trip you
Missing best friends
Yelling
Going to Gov and realizing Mr.White didn't even show up

Mrr!

I love WASL week, but I hate AP Prep...it's an awkward addition to my mornings.

This past week has been full of highs and lows. I would share them all, but the list would be far too long!
I quite enjoyed seeing some people at state on Saturday, and I was pretty much pleased with how things went.

I miss my best friend and I miss some other people too :/

Track's going good, and the first meet is on Wednesday at Sparks. You should come if you've got nothing better to do.

I just got my hairs cut, and it's adorable! :] PLUS, I'm getting tanner, which is amazing!

Less than a month til Spring Break!

End of random blog.

A;alsjdgahu;sdlajsld!!!

I don't enjoy being completely single.
It actually kind of sucks.
:[

These make me feel better about my life

Go to fmylife.com. It automatically makes my life seem so much better! :]

"Today, my boyfriend called, asking, before I could even talk, to bring a condom- NOW. I had to smile at this request. I went to his house. A blond girl opened the door. He followed shortly, surprised to see me. I'm Celine. She's Cecile. Our names are one apart on his cell. She's my sister. FML"

"Today, my boss told me that I was hired because of how much I reminded him of his daughter. Taking this as a compliment, I mentioned it to a co-worker who I was trying to impress. I later found out that my boss’ daughter is both clinically obese and mentally challenged. FML"

"Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "Be my baby's daddy!" I couldn't get out in time. FML"

"Today, my mom called me and told me i got accepted to my first choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read the letter she said, oops...never mind. FML"

"Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML"

"Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, 'Accidents happen.' She replied, 'Yeah, like your birth.' FML"

I feel ten times better now :]

Moving forward...

I'm disappointed. I'm angry. I'm upset. But, I'm going to be okay.
Here's why...

1. I have amazing friends that I can ALWAYS count on, no matter what!
2. I feel like if I really need somebody to talk to, and I need an adult opinion, I've got Kat at work...and even though she's busy a lot, she's one of the best listeners in the world.
3. I'm only going to be in Puyallup for six more months...then I'm off to Seattle with my best friend in the entire world :]
4. When I've had a frustrating day, I get to run and be outside every day for track.
5. I can go tanning whenever I feel like it.
6. Somebody I know got a copy of Slumdog Millionaire, and it's the most amazing movie ever...and now I can watch it again.
7. Chanel says amazing things when I'm pissed off.
8. I didn't actually fail my gov test today like I thought I was going to.
9. I don't need boys to make me happy, and deep down...I know that. Even though a lot of the time I quite enjoy having them around, I don't really NEED one.

The end.

That was cool...

not.
I hate being blind sighted. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but seriously? I never expected this...

:\

WOW.

It's over. The paper's out. Now I don't have to think about it for another few weeks! Thank God!

Ryan just wrecked my car, yes I call it my car even though it's the "family car." So, that's cool...on the third day of having his license, he wrecks the car so I can't drive it anymore. FML

Work tonight...that should be interesting. I've enjoyed my week away from Stortini's...I'm excited to see my girls though :]

Sleepy

This weekend has been interesting...let's see.
Friday: School, ick! Then Susee suckered me into doing a volleyball-athon at Glacier View (because I didn't know it was an all-nighter until AFTER I said yes) and I had work before that. So, work was pretty much lame. It was one of those frustrating nights where I just want to tell people to "STFU!" The nights where every server is angry because they're "Too busy" even though they have open tables, and where nobody feels like doing ANYTHING to help me out. Good times! :]
I got off work, went to the volleyball-athon with coffee in hand and proceeded to ref (a.k.a.-keep tally of scores) for the junior high teams playing eachother. Granted, every girl there screamed super loud whenever a point was made. This went on until about 1:30 when we had a "break" to do contests and games like relays and noise making contests. Oh yeah, there was kareoke for a bit, too. Oh man! After that, it was the final push (you know, only 5 hours left!) and we were all super tired when 4am hit. We successfully finished, nobody slept, and we went to McDonalds for breakfast in the morning. Which I suppose leads me to...
Saturday: I got home at about 7:20, and was too lazy to move the sweatshirt and bag off of my bed, so I proceeded to sleep on the couch until about 1:30pm. It was fantastic. I woke up for a bit at like noon, and ate Macaroni and tried to watch part of ATU but fell asleep again. Then, with triple-shot Americano in hand -- I went to work! Thank God it was pretty mellow last night, or else I'm pretty sure I would've died. And Kristen worked so that was a relief :] Chanel dropped by to give me a RedBull...because she's amazing. And it was delicious. (THANKS CHANEL, I LOVE YOU!!!) I had a calzone after work, which was also delicious, and then I came home. I set off the house alarm when I got home because I thought Ry was home and so I went out the back door of the garage to throw something away...but the alarm went off. It was realllllllllly loud, and the door to get into the house (to turn OFF the alarm) was locked...and my keys were in the bottom of my purse. It was quite embarassing...all because Blake's car was out front and the lights were on in the house. Go Ryan!
I watched Vicki Christina Barcelona...it was really good actually. Kind of concerning in the middle-ish part. But, it was pretty good. Then I went to bed, at eleven. It was fantastic.
Sunday: Homework day. And coffee day with Kristen. It shall be fun :]

I feel like I could kill somebody right now...

Wow, I absolutely hate when people don't do their shit.
Seriously, if one more person makes up a lame excuse to not be there, or not do something, I will scream.

Aghh! I hate deadline!

Propose to me, please...

I pride myself in being a girl that is unlike other girls. I'm not high-maintenance by any means, I would much rather watch a football game than go shopping, etc. However, like the majority of girls, I have kept a list of men (famous, of course) that I would like to eventually meet, date, kiss, marry, etc. Here they are :]

Andy Samberg
He's hilarious, adorable, well-spoken for the most part and he sings (well, kind of). Comedians are almost always very outspoken and comfortable with themselves...and seriously, I may be attracted to nerdy people, but I think he's cute. End of story.


Matthew McConaughey
Hellooooo...he has washboard abs. He's down to earth, he lives in a trailer. I guess he's sort of a hippie, and he's got a cute smile to go with his accent. Plus, he's actually smart...he studied law in college. Need I say more?

Jack Johnson
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. You can sing me to sleep any day of the week and I will just love you more. Then, you can teach me how to surf, and we can build a bonfire and you can sing to me by the bonfire. And all day long, every day, you will just sing to me :] This, of course, is a fantasy...but I still wish it would happen. Heather, my mom's friend, had a beer with him by the pool in Hawaii and said Jack is the coolest guy alive. Which made me want to meet him (and give him a huge hug) even more than I already did.

Ryan Lochte
Oh, hey...hey there. So what if he didn't do as great as Micheal at the Olympics. He still came home with some bling AND he didn't get caught smoking pot afterward :] Ryan's an athlete, and he's got a swimmer body, which isn't a bad thing AT ALL. Mmmm, that's all i can say. :]



Mark Z. Danielewski
I want to meet him just so I can get inside his brain and figure out how the hell he writes the way he does. I honestly think this guy is a genius, and he's a crazy good author with an incredible way of stringing words together to make somebody think...a lot.

James Franco
He's funny, he's sexy, and oh yeah, he's a pot head. Which I find to be HILARIOUS, probably a little bit too hilarious, especially because he was in "Pineapple Express" after his "Spiderman" days were over... :]

Tom Brady
Yes, it's cliche...go for the hot football guy. But, seriously, if he could just keep his mouth shut, he would be beautiful. I don't think he can speak English, or write, for that matter...but it's whatever. Atleast he's good eye candy!

Ben Gibbard
So he may not be the hottest man alive, but he sure as hell can sing (and play guitar). Zooey got to him first, but I still want to meet him so maybe a bit of his creativity and musical genius will rub off on me!


Alrighty. I'm done being a super cliche girl now! :] This was a big waste of time, especially when I should be studying for AP Gov. And, I'm sure I forgot a few of my men on here, so there may have to be a "Part Two" later...but I need to space out my "girliness" so it's not compacted into too short of a time frame.
Enjoy!

My immunity to Airborne has finally set in

I have to say that I absolute hate being sick, and being busy. I've pretty much tired to withhold from getting sick for about two weeks...and finally my body was like "Eff you, Megan. I need to be sick now, and don't try to stop me!" Unfortunately, in my life, there is no "good time" to be sick. I'm always busy, and I'm always missing something if I have to miss school.
So, here I am, laying on my couch watching movies and wishing I could be at school...but I can't because I have a fever, and it keeps breaking then coming back again. Ugh! Enough complaining :]
In other news: I'm actually pretty damn happy with life right now, which is somewhat unusual for me. Hahaah I mean, I normally try to be fairly optimistic and chipper. But, this week I haven't really had to "try," I just have been! :]
Let's see, good things that have happened so far this week...

• I was introduced to the "Kittens Inspired by Kittens" YouTube video and it's the cutest thing in the entire world!
• I had a long chat with David and we fixed everything that was wrong :]
• I had the best workout ever yesterday (Almost four miles, tons of abs and some sauna afterward) Amazing!
• I'm finally getting tan, and my peace sign sticker is infinitely better than the heart I used to have.
• I went and got a pedicure with Kristen and a few others that are to remain nameless for their protection ;]
• For once, I actually think I'm going to do decently on my Gov test tomorrow...because I understand it fairly well!
• My mom is getting REALLY excited for me to go to UW and that's basically all she ever talks about.
• I'm also getting really excited...especially for decorating! :]
• I have some awesome friends.
• This Friday is going to be the last one I have to work until the end of May!

And, that's basically it :] I'm going to go heat up some Chicken Noodle Soup and lay on the couch some more. Maybe I'll read some "1984" too.

REALIZE

As much as it scares me, I'm starting to REALIZE that I am basically an adult now. I am pretty much in charge of what I do. My parents can't control who I hang out with. Although I still live under their roof, their lenience with me has grown immensely in the past few weeks.
Maybe it's because I've finally decided where I'm going next year and they're starting to REALIZE that I'm not going to be under their complete control? Or maybe it's because they trust me more now? Regardless, it's pretty nice.
I'm REALIZING that even though there aren't that many, I have the greatest friends in the world. The people I can count on, I really can count on 100% of the time. I've had a good few weeks of time with my friends because of issues elsewhere, and I've come to really appreciate those people in my life. Whether it's a cupcake trip in the morning, a text to say "hey," a movie night, or a quick visit -- thank you. I appreciate you, and I don't know what I would do without you! :)
This morning, I woke up put on a sweatshirt and jeans and proceeded to have breakfast made for me by my favorite :) After the few weeks of trouble, it was good to REALIZE what's good about us. We're going to make it work, and I'm more than excited.
I have also begun to REALIZE that these next few months are going to be extremely difficult, and extremely busy, and that I need to make the best of every moment I can. I'm going to live up the end of my senior year, because next year is going to be totally unexpected and unfamiliar.
This has truly been a week & weekend of realizations...I'm glad.
<3

I thought I would enlighten the world

I am eating the most delicious sandwich ever.
Cheese, tomato, a bit of mayonnaise and some stone ground mustard...toasted.

It's pretty much the most satisfying thing I've eaten all week.

On another note, I would really like to go tanning--it's pretty much therapeutic. However, I'm afraid if I go today I will burn because four days in a row is a lot if you haven't tanned for awhile.

Now I'm off to work...ugh!
Peace <3

Reliance

I'm so tired of relying on people.
It only ends up letting me down in the end.

So to everybody who's let me down recently...eff you!
I'm so friggin pissed off.

I'm going to go enjoy my night by my lonesome now, because apparently making plans doesn't mean shit anymore.

The first commitment I've made in a long time...

Congratulations to me, I finally made a decision about my life! Even though I was almost positive this was what was going to happen, I'm unbelievably excited that I'll be calling Seattle my home for the next 4 (or 5) years of my life.

I paid my commitment fee, and I will be headed to Seattle in the fall with my best friend :) I am super-dee-duper excited and I can't focus right now!

Plus, more good news, I found out my cousin Christer is visiting in August and bringing his two daughters, who are ADORABLE, but whom I haven't had the chance to meet yet! I'm excited about this, plus he's UW Alumni, so he said he'd show me the "secret spots" around campus!

I am SO excited to be on my own next year, and I cannot wait for the cherry blossoms...beautiful!

Dirty Dancing

Why is it that forbidden romances are always way more captivating than ones that just fall into place?
I watched Dirty Dancing this morning when I woke up, for the hell of it, and the whole time I was thinking about that.
I mean, yeah, Johnny's all hot and sexy and he can dance hella good. But, I don't think Baby would've really liked him that much if he wasn't the "wrong guy" in her parents' eyes.
Maybe I'm just over-analyzing this entire thing. In fact, yes I know I am. But STILL!
Anyway, it's a classic. And, if you've never had the opportunity to watch it, you need to. Just for laughs, because it really is hilarious...and kind of cute in a 1960s kind of way :)
PLUS, the soundtrack is amazing. Maybe I'm a complete nerd, but seriously, 60s dance music is the shit!
The end.

Valentine's Day

So, last night at work was insane...and tonight is going to be at least 50x more insane.
Can I magically contract a horrible disease before I have to go smile and pretend I'm excited to be at work tonight?
Agh!

Happy Valentine's Day!
(And, by the way, if you get me some of those Necco Sweethearts, I will love you forever. They are so friggin delicious and you can't have them unless it's Valentine's Day!)

It was a good day

For many reasons, yesterday was awesome.

• Thursday magically turned into Friday, school-wise :)
• I got a crazy good workout at the YMCA
• Then I sweated out like 5 pounds in the sauna
• I watched ONE episode of The O.C.
• Hot Tub "party" at Jay's
• I didn't have to work on the eve of a "sleep-in day" for the first time in FOREVER
• No homework

Yeah, I wish I had more days like that :) Now I am off to the Y for another workout and then going to visit Corey on Oxycontin. Fantastic!

All about me :)

1. I'm always really busy, so I like plans. However, I hate MAKING plans, so my life is constantly a blur. When somebody tells me that they want to hang out, I literally have to make a note to put it in my phone so I don't forget when the time comes. And, it's not because I don't want to, I just get caught up in everything else in my life.

2. I have two best friends. They're the greatest, and the only two people I can tell absolutely EVERYTHING to. :) I love you guys!

3. I act like I know exactly what I want to do with my life, but inside I constantly doubt myself and my ability to follow through with a plan so huge.

4. I wish I had never stopped music. But, I really didn't have a choice. Now I wish that I had a ton of time to play on my own.

5. I've been accepted to all five universities that I applied to, and I'm almost 100% sure I'll be a Husky next year!

6. I have an unhealthy addiction to The O.C. My mom and David want to plan an intervention...

7. I also have an unhealthy addiction to JagWire. I lose sleep thinking about design ideas, people not writing their friggin stories, and how I could make it better. I also put everything off when it comes to deadline week, and it's never good to get behind in every other class.

8. My family is never home at the same time. But, when we are, there's always an argument. :/

9. I never thought that going to college was going to be a financial problem, but it's becoming one. Gotta love our great economy!

10. I like to think that I'm fairly optimistic, but I think that I'm just lying to myself. If I care about something a lot, and a little tiny thing goes wrong, I feel like the world is crashing down! I know, it's a problem...

11. I have a really, really, REALLY hard time opening up to people. I like to blame it on the fact that I've been screwed over a few times, but sometimes I think it's just an inner problem. I wish I could open up to people easier, but I'm just too damn good at building walls ;)

12. I love volleyball, and if I hadn't hurt my shoulder before junior year, I never would have gave up club. I also would have wanted to play in college, whether it was competitive or not.

13. I wish I was as good of a photographer as my dad, but his patience level is about zero so I know he'll never teach me!

14. I think I have a problem...once I start working out, I can't stop. I love the feeling after a super hard workout when you're on the verge of puking. It's a sign of accomplishment.

15. Even though I hate it, I'm actually pretty good at Calculus.

16. When I'm really upset or angry I enjoy driving fast with the windows down and rap roaring from my speakers.

17. If I had to live in one spot for the rest of my life, I'd have to flip a coin to decide between Chelan and Kauai.

18. On days that I don't have anything to do, I love just letting myself go all natural...no makeup, letting my hair dry natural, sweats, etc.

19. I don't really have a "crowd," I kinda float from group to group because there aren't too many people I don't get along with.

20. I enjoy listening to music really loud, all the time. And, that's probably the reason I can't hear you when you speak quietly.

21. I'm horrible at making decisions. I constantly tell people that "I don't care," and MOST of the time, I really mean it.

22. I absolutely love mashed potatoes. They are so flippin delicious!

23. I've always wanted to go to Europe, so I plan on studying abroad at some point during my college experience.

24. If I could kill every spider in the entire world, I would. I am SO afraid of them.

25. I wish I had the opportunity to time travel...I would go back to the 60s and be a flower-child rallying for peace.

LONGEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE!!!!

I am SO glad that these past two weeks are FINALLY over. I think I would have died if they continued on for much longer!
I feel like I haven't blogged in forever, and that makes me sad!
So, here's a quick update (because, of course, I'm at the hospital with nothing to do for another half hour) on my life. :)

-I didn't fail the AP Calc test that I thought I was going to. After studying (though texting?) with Jess, giving up on understanding whatever the hell I was supposed to know how to do, and freaking out about it all day and for the first 45 minutes of class, Cypher goes "Oh yeah, it's a group test! You can talk to anybody in the class..." I stressed for nothing, and I'm pretty sure Kristen, Jess, Corey, Lance and I all got 100% because we all worked together! Now, that's a good way to start off a semester! :)

-JagWire 9.3 came out, and I'm pleased for the most part! Of course there are always those little things you look back on and say "Why did we do that?!?" But I'm generally happy :) We're on to issue four now!

-Mike left me. Yes, I sound dramatic...but, it kind of sucks to have one of your friends move away. It's weird because we weren't even that good of friends til the end of summer. It only took a week, after talking and working together ALL the time, and he knew more about me than a lot of people do. He's the best, and one of the nicest (and most sarcastic) guys ever. He's off to start his life, and I'm happy for him...miss you already Mikeyyy. :/

-I'm done with my 40 hours today at the hospital. THANK GOD! I can get my paperwork signed and start sleeping in on Saturdays now! :) Sooooo excited about that!

-I've completed Season 1 and half of Season 2 of "The O.C." David told me that I need to go to intervention, so I told him to suck it. It's addicting...but watching an episode here and there when it was actually on TV is way different than watching the entire series. I've also decided that if there's a person out there who is as cute as Adam Brody is as Seth...I will marry him. :)

-Semester is over. I've been accepted to UW. I'm so ready to let senioritis kick in, but I have to stay strong and not give in to the strong desire I have to just say "Screw it!" to everything and anything people throw at me! Blahh!

-I'm getting sick...probably because I stopped drinking a lot of caffeine. Which sounds weird and messed up, but I always have headaches and it might be because I'm so used to drinking lots of caffeine everyday. Anyway, I stopped drinking caffeine because it's better for your body when you're working out a lot...which I'm trying to do. I feel better than I have in awhile, despite the cold/headache/whatever it is. I'm obsessed with working out once I'm at the Y...I just lack the motivation to be excited to go there every day.

Wellllllllllllllllllll, that's all I can think of for now! :)
Peace out!

Wowww. That really just happened.

The one person who asked me about a patient was today was a complete bitch. And I'm not exaggerating, she was a COMPLETE bitch. She was old, testy and rude!

Sometimes I wish I could be a bitch back! But instead, I smiled and gave her directions to where she was headed. :)

She stormed off like I said something to offend her. No smile. No thank you. So, I looked at where the patient was, thinking maybe she was just worried...but she was headed to the family birthing center...isn't that a happy place??!?

Wow, I just love how appreciated I am :)

She should read this book.

welp, i'm legal now!

Yesterday wasn't that exciting of a day, but it's whatever. I've started to be super apathetic about things like birthdays. I can say I'm a year older, but technically I'm just two days older (now) than I was on the 22nd.
David came over & left flowers for me at midnight :) It was adorable. He brought a bouquet of daisies, which are one of my favorites, but I've never even told him that! My mom made me waffles in the morning (yummyyy!!) and I went to school. We had another calculus test, which I actually studied for, and I'm hoping to get an A. We're on deadline, so other than when I was in calculus, I spent my entire day in JagWire...or atleast doing JagWire related things.
I worked. Don't ask me why I didn't request off my birthday, but I guess I forgot! But, let's face it, the only reason anybody came to work at Stortini's last night was to celebrate my birthday anyway! It was an okay night, though. My mom had flowers delivered to the restaurant so that was cool. Plus my three favorite people were there: Kristen, Kathryn and David!
Kristen FINALLY got off, after sitting at the front desk doing absolutely nothing for about 40 minutes. We went and saw Slumdog Millionaire, which was absolutely amazing! Atleast, the movie was amazing (the ridiculously expensive food, the drive there, the temperature of the theater, and the drunk lady all were slightly obnoxious). But, the fact that Jamal, the main character, looks like Justin Chavez made everything better! :) Seriously though, if you haven't seen Slumdog yet, GO SEE IT. It's very, very, very good.
Kristen got me a coat...it's friggin adorable. I'm wearing it right now at the hospital because it's seriously like 40 degrees in here. Blech!

In other news, I'm definitely not looking forward to this week, so I'm just going to complain about it for a moment. Let's seeeeee...

• Monday: 1/3/5 day (they always suck anyway) plus deadline!
• Tuesday: Deadline + Kristen & Megan's ingenious plan is going to take place! Sometime during the day I need to go down to McCutcheon's to see Gary and pick up his new design for his ad, too. Andddd, maybe I should finish the wrestling story...just maybe.
• Wednesday: Final deadline...always the best (and most stressful) day of the week. Staying at school until 11 or 12 is definitely my favorite thing to do! Especially when it's end of semester and EVERYBODY thinks it's cool to have big tests.
• Thursday: I'm wearing sweats to school. I've already decided this, and my outfit is picked out. In first period, I have a HUGE government final. Everything we've covered in first semester is fair game to put on the test. Gov tests on ONE chapter are hard enough, I can't even fathom what a test on chapters 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 will be like. Aghh! I should probably start memorizing the "To be or not to be" speech from Hamlet, too...because I have a test on that. Yayers!
• Friday: It's going to be the best day ever. I'm not going to school. No way, Jose! We have a half day...and all six classes. Hahaha It's a JOKE! 15 minute classes, no thank you!

So, I'm pretty stoked to begin my exciting week! Study sesh tomorrow at Kristen's...and since I'm 18, we're going to get vanilla cigars. We actually planned out this get-together, too.
I should go back to pretending to be excited about volunteering at the hospital, though. I'm actually really stoked because I only have to come back once after this and I'll have my 40 hours done :) The Starbucks is playing obnoxious jazz music...ick! But, I'm drinking an Americano, and it's yummy...so I guess I'll forgive them for playing annoying stuff.

For anybody who read this all the way through...I'm sorry. It was ridiculously long.

How do I slow down?

Life has been an absolute whirlwind lately.
I feel like I'm constantly allowing myself to be lazy, however I'm ridiculously busy and I have thousands of things I NEED to be doing.

Last night I was startled awake at about 2:30, so I looked out my window and there was a firetruck across the street. Instinctively I got nervous, thinking that my neighbor's house was burning down, or something like that...but that wasn't the case. In fact, I don't know what happened at all. I just ended up sitting on my window seat for a bit looking outside at the fog (which by the way looks very weird when there's no street lights or anything...super creepy). I just realized how emo I sounded right there.

Anyway, when I was just hanging out by myself, listening to some Death Cab and Band of Horses (mmmm, lovely) I thought...a lot. About things I can't even explain. But I came up with a list of things I want to wish for. Maybe I can use one of them when I blow out the candles next Friday :)

I wish that I could let go of things more easily.
I wish that people would listen better.
I wish that texting was never invented, because conversations on the phone are so much more meaningful.
I wish that I could graduate...now!
I wish that the calculus most missed test, government final and deadline would not coincide.
I wish that college would stop being so damn expensive so I could stop worrying about how I'm going to pay for it.
I wish that I could have been a teenager in the 60s.
I wish that Mikey wasn't moving.
I wish that there was a really cool concert in Seattle on my birthday weekend.
I wish that community service was done so I don't have to wake up really early on Saturday mornings and sit at the hospital, bored and alone, for three hours writing blogs.
I wish that my grandma would magically be better, so she wouldn't have to be in a convalescent home, and my dad could come home.
I wish that this certain somebody will change his mind.
I wish that I didn't think of all of these wishes last night.
I wish I could get a new puppy...I miss my Solo baby.
I wish that I could get the heck outta Puyallup, and start college right now!
I wish I could have gone to Habitat this morning.
I wish for happiness...for everybody. No matter what their situation is. :)
I wish that everybody was as nice as that old man just was, wearing his neon yellow jacket, walking into the hospital. Genuine kindness is the best characteristic anybody can have.

I'm going to end on a positive wish. Hahaha
I should probably go back to welcoming people to the hospital, which is kind of an ironic job...because nobody ever really WANTS to be at the hospital. It's not like Mama Stortini's where you go "Enjoy your dinner!" and smile. People who come here are seriously upset sometimes...it's weird. I just find it funny that I sit here, and smile and act like nothing is wrong, when clearly there is something wrong if somebody is looking for their dad in the ICU! :( So terrible.
Anyway, back to my Facility Directory and the fantastic Good Sam screensaver they so graciously default to our computer.

Peace <3

May I please have permission to rant a little?

I like to consider myself to be an optimistic person. I laugh when I'm with my friends, a little too much sometimes. And I generally look on the positive side of things. Today...I wasn't really feeling the whole optimism thing.
First off, I hate when people can't make decisions. Especially when you think they are somebody different, then then all of a sudden it's like "Woah! Where did that come from?!?"
I also hate when people don't do any work.
Exhibit A: JagWire kids. How hard is it to turn in a damn story? We've had 2 weeks, and still people sit in class and work on other homework that is clearly more important.
Exhibit B: How hard is it to memorize lines? I am normally quite impressed with the MLK production the students of ER put on...this year was different. There were so many missed lines, wrong entrances, confusion on stage. I felt awkward sitting in the audience. It was a bummer.
I definitely failed my calculus test today, too. It was one of those things that I just went, "Ooh. This is gonna be bad." And...it was.
And nowwwww, I get to go deal with impatient, rude and generally unhappy people who are going out to eat dinner tonight :) Yippee!


Rant over...time to be optimistic again!

I promise...

...to never, ever, EVER allow myself only 3 hours of sleep on a school night again.
I think I'm going to go die now.

Sometimes I question my sanity

I read it when it first came out. But something within me this morning compelled me to bring along Twilight to the hospital.
Lo and behold, I read over 3/4 of it as I sat at the desk at the hospital. Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit that because I feel like everybody else. But I've even read it before, why am I reading it AGAIN?!? I guess, who can resist a love story between a vampire and a human? I clearly cannot. But, it's such horrible writing!!Stephanie Meyer can write a damn good plot, but why does she lack variety?
I'm obviously fighting an inner battle...and the nerd in me says "Go read more!"


...so I will.

I forgot how much I love...

1. Oriental Chicken Salad from Applebees. Seriously, so delicious. If you have never tried this salad, you need to go to Applebees right now, and buy one...you will fall in love with salad once and for all.
2. Stand-up comedians (especially Mike Birbiglia & Nick Swardson). I mean, I definitely enjoy a funny Dane Cook routine every once in awhile, however Mike & Nick just seem to top everybody. I watched almost three hours of 1980's Eddie Murphy today...which was quite profane, but hilarious. I still have a stomach ache.
3. Snuggling. No explanation needed.
4. Making jokes in AP Calculus. It really is amazingly entertaining to sit in the back row with three hilarious guys, who make fun of just about everything and everyone.

Today was a good day :)

Not Ready

I clearly was not ready to go back to school for multiple reasons.

1. Staying awake until 2am is not a good idea, especially when school starts at 7:40 and first period consisted of a huge test.

2. I really was getting used to not having to deal with high school drama and people who are super inconsiderate. If you mess with my best friends, it really gets me in a fabulous mood ;)

3. Hearing "Your portfolio should now be up to date" during advisory was a major kick in the butt towards my realization that I graduate in 6 months!

Ni-Night!

Hello, Blogger!

I used to write all the time, and it was my release. I used to have a blog, but who knows where the password went. Most likely, it's buried underneath my old journals.
However, I'm going to begin that again. God knows I need it!
So, in a way, I am welcoming myself back into the blogging world...
Enjoy!